When we were first married, N's use of pronouns was unsettling. When he used "we", I discovered that he was still thinking of his previous wife. For instance, he'd say "we" always use the slow cooker for pot roast or talked about when "we" went on holiday to Texas. Not just once, but over and over, in many different contexts.

When I questioned him, he'd say, oh, I was thinking of Adele. Sorry. I loved her very much.

The important stuff was "I" stuff, you know. Major purchases, managing money, etc.

He would use "I" when announcing what kind of car "he" was going to buy (though I was going to drive it), or how the bills were to be paid (I was working; he wasn't). Excuse me, you talked about our being a partnership when we married. Lip service only. No wonder he can vote GOP and isn't uncomfortable at all with the inconsistencies and hypocrisy.

Now, 20 years later, he is using "we" when he should be using "I" as for instance, "we" have to get the wheelchair repaired. Hey, it's your wheelchair and you have to ask the VA to repair it. Nothing to do with me. Perhaps he's trying to imagine a partnership that never existed and creating it out of whole cloth by using binding pronouns.

Sorry, we're way past that now. There are "you", and "I", and very few occasions (like tax returns) when "we" is appropriate.

I never knew pronouns could be so important, but they are. When they are improperly used, not reflecting reality, they jar on the ear and unsettle the mind.