I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I looked at the forecast for the high today, since it's already 91 degrees. And, yes, Virginia, it's supposed to top out at 111 today.

Truly glad that I took my walk at about 6 a.m., jumped in the shower, and then took off to do errands--all before the first cup of coffee.

And anyway, I want to stay out of the house and away from negativity as much as possible, so it was a win-win decision. Thinking and sipping coffee....

I've learned--relearned?--two very difficult lessons.

One is that, no matter how clearly a person (or computer) tries to communicate, the receiver always filters it through his perceptions, his expectations, his personal agendas (which can be based on psychological damage, ambition, whatever).

The moral? If you can't improve upon the silence, don't speak.

The second is that being open and trusting is an open door for attack and pain. Bullies always pick on the quiet one, the trusting one, the bookish one, gentleness being perceived as weakness.

The moral? Keep your guard up; don't let anyone in.

I used to think that was bad advice, but after experiencing verbal and psychological abuse, both as a child and as an adult, that's the only conclusion I can come to.

Unless one wants to blame the victim and say that somehow the abused person brought it on himself. Perhaps--by being open and trusting, being vulnerable and optimistic. It seems to bring out the worst in people who have a need to "get back" at someone and can't get revenge on the person (a parent, or a coach, for instance) who originally abused them. Instead, they find someone else to bully.

So 24 hours later, I'm feeling much better, having come to a resolution of sorts. A nice venti red-eye from Starbuck's (a special treat) helped, also. My drug of choice.

I'm hoping the construction work will be finished today.