The morning was cool, friendly, and productive. One of those times when you breeze through the laundry and dishes and errands (I took B to the train station, then Fran back to the ER for a follow up visit).

Home again, feeling good about myself and positive towards the world in general. It's nice when things fit together well, traffic flows nicely, and the weather is sunny but mild.

Yeah, well, then I got another one of "those" phone calls from hubby just as I was settling in for a nap, and it was full of "I want, get this for me, etc." I understand where he's coming from, but he can be so needy about things, without understanding that "stuff" isn't going to get him love, nor is it going to cure his Parkinson's.

Instead of enjoying what mobility and capabilities he has, he wants more and more "stuff", asserting that everything will be improved if he just has a computer chair (in a hospital room???), an electric toothbrush (which he can't manipulate), a scanner/printer, and all the other "wants" he comes up with.

I'm happy to bring him reasonable supplies, and help him set them up, but what he really wants is his old life back, which the stuff isn't going to give him, but he keeps on, hoping that more stuff will do the trick.

I'm forced into being the bad guy, when I finally say no, the hospital won't allow another chair (he already has an easy chair with a lift); you can't physically handle an electric toothbrush; and on and on.

I feel so bad about this, that I usually cave in and get him what he wants. Then it's just a waste of money and the administration of the hospital asks me to take it away, since they will not tolerate a horder.

Thanks for letting me vent. There's no solution, of course, but to continue to do what I can, and continue to try to bring reason/sensible solutions into the situation.

Some days I just want to pull the pillow over my head and disappear.