Crashed my car last Wednesday. Wanted to write lots of feelings, but I'm more in fact mode today.

I'm okay, the car is totalled. Everything forward of the front wheels is mashed up. Hit a guy who slammed on his brakes for a dog. The person walking the dog, in the dark, was wearing dark clothes and his dog was not on a leash. I hit the Jeep going about forty. I should be dead.

As it is, just a banged-up knee, and I suffer the stares of people who must be thinking I really lucked out. Miss Thing said that it was just not okay to consider me getting killed.

The Jeep guy asked me not to call the police, but I was hurt and my car was in the middle of the road. He was fine, but didn't offer me any help as I organized the situation. He left and then returned after the cops were gone. Asshole. He made nice, asking if I was okay, but didn't offer any explanation as to why he left. The ambulance driver asked him if he'd been drinking, to which he replied, "Wine with dinner, but that was hours ago." The cops have talked with me several times, and they are having trouble getting in touch with him. It won't change my culpability, but it would be nice to know why he left.

I didn't get a ticket, because the cop said given the "totality of the circumstances" it didn't seem warranted. Dark night, dog, stupid dog walker, fleeing rear-end-collision recipient, and me the injured party the only one who stuck around to sort things out. Karma strikes again! Yay!

I bought a 2000 Subaru Legacy Outback for an obscene amount of money (to me; actually it was priced below bluebook). I get it in a few days, when the stereo gets fixed. It's a real car, not an island car, not disposable, scratchable or abusable. I am a grown up. More than before, I mean.

I have all sorts of feelings about this. So far I can't really do much about them except plan trips and plan to enjoy my summer. I want to grab summer by the balls, kiss it hard on the mouth and say, "Is that all you've got, summer?" Summer will smile back and meet my challenge.