All hail to the intrepid Cycle Barn Women's Motorcycle Club, who are conquering three San Juan Islands in three days!

Day one, Friday - meet at Seattle Harley Davidson, formerly known as Lynnwood Cycle Barn. Depart 12:30. I-5 north to Mt. Vernon, then the cutoff to Hwy 20. Anacortes by 2:15, Orcas Island ferry at 2:45. A blissful arrival at Doe Bay, followed by much nude hot tubbing and drinking of the Korbel Brut.

Day Two, Saturday - Elsa contrives a breakfast of blueberry pancakes, bacon, yogurt, coffee and tea. Ride out to San Juan Island, where we will lunch, then take in the sights. Pig War, anyone? Back to Doe Bay for another Elsa-made meal of black bean soup with mango salsa, cornbread, and chips. More nude hot tubbing.

Day Three, Sunday - Breakfast of ham and cheese omelettes, yogurt, tea, coffee. Ride out to Mt. Constitution if time allows, then a ride on Lopez Island before heading back to Lynnwood and points beyond. LONG DAY.

I'm bringing almost nothing because I'm in charge of the food. But really, what do I need besides riding clothes, a towel for the tubs, a book and some lotion? Did I hear someone say a game boy, cell phone, computer, or bondage gear? You're clearly in another league if those were your answers. Ride with the people in the Hummer (Hummers are for dicks, you know).

I'm really excited for this. I get a bit nervous knowing that I'm supposed to be watching ahead as well as watching for the safety of all nine riders, but it went well last time. Besides, it's the Islands, where you can't really drive 70mph. It's more about the scenery.

And Michael is hereby no longer tacitly absolved from commenting on occasion. What, you think the BQ is going to read this? Phbbbbt to her anyway, poor thing.

Health to everyone, and tawanda!