I "bought" a scale with bonus points I'd earned from a high-balance credit card I had. Homedics, an electronic one, with bio-impedence so it can tell me how much of me is fat and how much is water. I mistakenly thought it would actually tell me what I weigh, silly me.

Oh joy.

Okay, so I read the directions and programmed it for me: my height, gender, etc. and stored that under profile #1. (Hey, at my house, I *am* #1.)

No problem, right? However, I began to notice anomalies. Specifically, if I stepped on the scale without telling it I was #1, it gave one reading. Hmmm. I got off and got back on. Measurement two was lighter than measurement one by about 4 pounds. Let's try profile #1 and see what I get: yet another number, the lowest of all. The final measurement was higher, and looked suspiciously like a number from the last day I had weighed myself.

Back to the manual. Was there an archive function of some sort of which I was not aware? Apparently not. It was just messing with me. Those of you who know me or have read the Elsa Owner's Manual will know that messing with me is not recommended.

Here are the data from four successive weighings this morning: 165.4, 161.2, 159.2, 161.2.

I'm going with the third one for two reasons: it's the lowest (gimme some credit) and it is the first reading when I used #1 profile. I figure as long as I am consistently using the same profile, the decreases will be in proportion to previous measurements.

Heh. Don't mess with me, you Homedics, two-faced piece of crap. I've got your number.