Welcome to Visceral World, the country's newest theme park. We're here to provide you with the utmost in reality. That's right, re-AL-ity!

Ever wanted to know what it feels like to climb a real tree, one that's planted and growing in the ground? At Visceral World, YOU CAN!

Ever found yourself wishing you knew what it felt like when Laura Croft is running down a hallway toward a doorway? YOU CAN!

You've heard about those "bricks and mortar" alternatives to your online life, but here at Visceral World, we give you more than just bricks and mortar. We give you blood and guts, levity and gravity, the REAL EXPERIENCES you have been, up until now, a little bit scared to try.

Well, set aside your fear. Here at Visceral World, we have a team of highly trained EMTs, mental health professionals and hospitality-industry personnel trained to support your foray into the real world outside your computer. And best of all, this is all paid for by your tax dollars.

That's right, if you take the proper perspective, walking outside your computer environment and into the out of doors is entirely volitional and FREE.

See the bright orb in the sky that you were told is called The Sun! Feel the novel sponginess of actual green grass beneath your shoes. And remember, with our trained medical staff on standby, we're ready when you decide to take off your shoes and - yes - TOUCH THE GRASS WITH YOUR BARE FEET.

Put down that joystick, and give Visceral World a try. You might never go down the rabbit hole again!

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