My body is changing. I have to remember that.

I'm not losing weight, so far, but the people who know my body are reporting that things are changing.

Arik, my medical massage therapist, said my back fat is less, and that I'm getting a waist. His advice: keep doing what I'm doing.

Rebecca, my feel-good massage therapist, friend, and former co-worker, said that the muscles in my legs are different than before. Elongating, she says. And she'll let me work on her while I'm learning massage. (She even said I could use her house and massage table if need be while I'm in school. Of course, I laid on her the already complex plans for clearing out a room in my house for the purposes of touching others. I like to design and decorate. It's a pathology of sorts.)

My body is changing. I have to remember that. Then I can keep doing those 30-minute, 500-calorie elliptical trainer workouts. I can keep my commitment to change my life. I don't mean it to sound all lofty. It's the most fundamental thing I have ever done for myself.

And I have to remember that.