Precautions, as listed in the instruction pamphlet for the Hitachi Magic Wand (verbatim, with my comments italicized):

1. You'll want to use your massager on your shoulders, arms, back muscles, and legs. It's not for your chest and certainly not for use around you [sic] thyroid gland (just below the Adam's apple). I'll want to use it in a number of other places, too, I'd imagine, and can I share? Is this a one-person enterprise, or are friends allowed to join me? Will I simply *want* to use it, or will I be intrigued by, compelled toward, and someday addicted to my massager?

2. Don't grasp the vibrating head while your massager is turned ON. That's not what I'd be grasping.

3. The rated maximum continuous use of your massager is 25 minutes. That's really long enough. [Yes, it actually says this!] Should you wish to use it longer, turn it off and wait about 30 minutes before using it again. When, if you are lucky, there is a real person there to take over, apparently. The directions don't say what you should do for those 30 minutes, and certainly don't address alternate frustration-reduction activities.

4. Don't turn the vibrating head by hand or press it tightly to your body. You could bend the head-supporter, and heavy pressure does not produce a stronger massaging effect anyway. That's not what we learned in massage school. What if I'm going for the release of a spasm? Direct pressure, people, is indeed indicated.

5. Don't use your massager over swollen or inflamed areas, or skin eruptions. Don't use on an unexplained calf pain. Whenever in doubt, consult your physician. Yes, Doctor, um, . . . I thought the point of this was . . .