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614050 Curiosities served
Oh Joel, we thank thee for this, thy survey
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1. How late did you stay up last night?
Midnight. Reading Villa Incognito.
2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
I hope the landlady unlocked my neighbor's door so I can feed the cats and rats.
3. Does anyone have a crush on you?
Crush? No. I wouldn't call it that. In fact, I now have no idea what to call it.
4. What did you do last night?
Rearranged the craft/tool closet, did dishes, sewed a pillow cover, watched "Legally Blonde II" on CBC.
5.What are you doing this weekend?
No set plans. There were, but now there aren't. I can't fathom why, but the world is full of unnecessary subterfuge and circumstances I don't understand.
6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
It would be nice, but given that the universe continues to tell me that internet dating leaves women just as frustrated as the bar scene, I'm not sure. I will be in a relationship with myself, one that continues to get better every day. That I know.
7. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
Yes.
8. Have you ever told someone they were stupid?
Yes, usually facetiously. Today I've had to hold my tongue.
9.How's your heart lately?
Confused. A little angry. Misguided. Hopeful. Did I say confused?
10.What were you doing this morning at 7am?
Listening to my iPhone play harp music to wake me up, then peeing like a racehorse.
11.What are/were you doing this afternoon at 3pm?
Making postcards with the girls.
12.What was the reason you last cried?
Someone stepped in some deep shit in the WalMart parking lot and I had about ten miles' worth of driving to dwell on it.
13.Whats your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Tanqueray and tonic.
14. MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS!
Are delicious in a nice bechamel sauce with caramelized onions and rosemary.
15.Can you think of someone you know with the initials B.D?
Nope.
16.How many red lights have you ran?
Maybe 5 in my life. I've been driving for 25 years. So I feel like that's not too bad.
17.Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
I'm sure I have; might do that in the morning just for shits and giggles.
18.what was your favorite grade?
None of them. My pariah status made all years of school relatively painful.
19.What were you doing at 12am last night?
Reading Villa Incognito, thinking it was damn well time to put it down and go to sleep.
20.What's a sure way to catch your attention?
Say something really thoughtless in the WalMart parking lot.
21.Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Hmmm, maybe in the WalMart parking lot? Like that, you mean?
22.When was the last time you were given a gift?
The day after Christmas.
23.Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
A long conversation with Rick Steves, to take back about the last million words that have come out of my mouth, to bridge the distance that arose in the WalMart parking lot.
24.Where did your last hug take place?
WalMart. Prior to the parking lot incident.
25.Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
The first day of first grade, my teacher called me Lisa. I thought (but would NEVER have said), "Four letters, two syllables, and it's phonetic. Why am I smarter than you?" Poor woman didn't stand a chance.
26.Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
No, but I think I should start. Maybe alternate with "With all due respect.." or "I don't mean to pry..." All good starters. Not.
27.Do you drink tea?
Yes. Current favorite is Girl Grey, a lovely Earl Grey with lavender flowers added.
28.When was the last time you saw a cop?
Last night, at my friend's party. She's married to one.
29.Did you ride in someone else's car today?
Nope. Drove my own.
30.Have you made a mistake in the past week?
Calling my landlady (it just confuses her). Asking about the Hawaiian pizza (it just confuses him).
31.What are you listening to right now?
The Simpsons movie. I'm trying to ignore it.
32.Do you miss someone?
I think I do. Probably.
33.Is there anything you regret about your past?
Why are we dwelling on that? Now is now.
34.Are you happy with your life?
Yes. Only have the one, you see, and it's pretty damn good. It's mine, after all.
35.Do you wish you were in a different place?
RIght this minute? Sure, I could be flossing or trimming my toenails or curing cancer.
36. Is there a feeling you're trying to avoid?
Yes. Yes. And did I mention yes?
37.What was the last movie you saw in theatres?
Walk Hard. I recommend it if you like musical parody. One slow bit, but otherwise some really funny moments.
38. Are you sleeping somewhere Saturday night?
I always sleep somewhere on Saturday nights.
Midnight. Reading Villa Incognito.
2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
I hope the landlady unlocked my neighbor's door so I can feed the cats and rats.
3. Does anyone have a crush on you?
Crush? No. I wouldn't call it that. In fact, I now have no idea what to call it.
4. What did you do last night?
Rearranged the craft/tool closet, did dishes, sewed a pillow cover, watched "Legally Blonde II" on CBC.
5.What are you doing this weekend?
No set plans. There were, but now there aren't. I can't fathom why, but the world is full of unnecessary subterfuge and circumstances I don't understand.
6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
It would be nice, but given that the universe continues to tell me that internet dating leaves women just as frustrated as the bar scene, I'm not sure. I will be in a relationship with myself, one that continues to get better every day. That I know.
7. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
Yes.
8. Have you ever told someone they were stupid?
Yes, usually facetiously. Today I've had to hold my tongue.
9.How's your heart lately?
Confused. A little angry. Misguided. Hopeful. Did I say confused?
10.What were you doing this morning at 7am?
Listening to my iPhone play harp music to wake me up, then peeing like a racehorse.
11.What are/were you doing this afternoon at 3pm?
Making postcards with the girls.
12.What was the reason you last cried?
Someone stepped in some deep shit in the WalMart parking lot and I had about ten miles' worth of driving to dwell on it.
13.Whats your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Tanqueray and tonic.
14. MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS!
Are delicious in a nice bechamel sauce with caramelized onions and rosemary.
15.Can you think of someone you know with the initials B.D?
Nope.
16.How many red lights have you ran?
Maybe 5 in my life. I've been driving for 25 years. So I feel like that's not too bad.
17.Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
I'm sure I have; might do that in the morning just for shits and giggles.
18.what was your favorite grade?
None of them. My pariah status made all years of school relatively painful.
19.What were you doing at 12am last night?
Reading Villa Incognito, thinking it was damn well time to put it down and go to sleep.
20.What's a sure way to catch your attention?
Say something really thoughtless in the WalMart parking lot.
21.Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Hmmm, maybe in the WalMart parking lot? Like that, you mean?
22.When was the last time you were given a gift?
The day after Christmas.
23.Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
A long conversation with Rick Steves, to take back about the last million words that have come out of my mouth, to bridge the distance that arose in the WalMart parking lot.
24.Where did your last hug take place?
WalMart. Prior to the parking lot incident.
25.Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
The first day of first grade, my teacher called me Lisa. I thought (but would NEVER have said), "Four letters, two syllables, and it's phonetic. Why am I smarter than you?" Poor woman didn't stand a chance.
26.Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
No, but I think I should start. Maybe alternate with "With all due respect.." or "I don't mean to pry..." All good starters. Not.
27.Do you drink tea?
Yes. Current favorite is Girl Grey, a lovely Earl Grey with lavender flowers added.
28.When was the last time you saw a cop?
Last night, at my friend's party. She's married to one.
29.Did you ride in someone else's car today?
Nope. Drove my own.
30.Have you made a mistake in the past week?
Calling my landlady (it just confuses her). Asking about the Hawaiian pizza (it just confuses him).
31.What are you listening to right now?
The Simpsons movie. I'm trying to ignore it.
32.Do you miss someone?
I think I do. Probably.
33.Is there anything you regret about your past?
Why are we dwelling on that? Now is now.
34.Are you happy with your life?
Yes. Only have the one, you see, and it's pretty damn good. It's mine, after all.
35.Do you wish you were in a different place?
RIght this minute? Sure, I could be flossing or trimming my toenails or curing cancer.
36. Is there a feeling you're trying to avoid?
Yes. Yes. And did I mention yes?
37.What was the last movie you saw in theatres?
Walk Hard. I recommend it if you like musical parody. One slow bit, but otherwise some really funny moments.
38. Are you sleeping somewhere Saturday night?
I always sleep somewhere on Saturday nights.
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