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Wisdom of Another Sort
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Landlady wisdom:
You really need to keep the balcony doors locked because they can blow open. No, you need to provide me with a door latch that works, so that typical wind gusts don't overcome the latch. (Since remedied.) And in reference to my neighbor's French doors, they open outward and absolutely CAN'T be blown open. If they can, the wind involved will have already killed us all, and the point becomes academic.
You'll want to sweep this porch because you could slip and from up here, that wouldn't be good. This remark was made in regard to my landing, upon which the contractor (the lovely Mark) had finished working 5 minutes before the comment was made. She actually was bending down while talking to me, picking up nails. I insisted I would be getting to it as soon as she was OFF my porch, but she kept nattering about the sweeping. Here, I thought, let me sweep while you're still standing there, in your party shoes. You won't mind a little construction dust on them, since you will be so relieved that I will be safe treading on my own porch.
Oh, this roof is safe; the people who did the siding re-nailed it to the building. Uh huh. Are these the same people whose siding work you just said "looks like shit"? And you expect Mark, at 235 pounds, to stand on it, when clearly it is weathered and weak? I tried to hang a hammock from the joists this summer and it was pretty clear it wasn't going to hold my weight. I don't weigh anything near 235.
Yes, look near your woodstove - there is a new heater there. Uh, no, there isn't. There is one in the neighbor's apartment, but clearly the heater guy (not the lovely Mark) didn't make it over to my place. And, do you really think that I would look next to the woodstove, twice, and still not see a heater if one were in fact there? How stupid am I? (Hint: I know you have a Masters in Social Work, but you might not know that I have a Masters Degree too! I'm not an idiot, either inherently or as a result of my educational experience!)
Sigh. She's left now. And peace again descends on Port-au-Patois #7. Until the next time.
You really need to keep the balcony doors locked because they can blow open. No, you need to provide me with a door latch that works, so that typical wind gusts don't overcome the latch. (Since remedied.) And in reference to my neighbor's French doors, they open outward and absolutely CAN'T be blown open. If they can, the wind involved will have already killed us all, and the point becomes academic.
You'll want to sweep this porch because you could slip and from up here, that wouldn't be good. This remark was made in regard to my landing, upon which the contractor (the lovely Mark) had finished working 5 minutes before the comment was made. She actually was bending down while talking to me, picking up nails. I insisted I would be getting to it as soon as she was OFF my porch, but she kept nattering about the sweeping. Here, I thought, let me sweep while you're still standing there, in your party shoes. You won't mind a little construction dust on them, since you will be so relieved that I will be safe treading on my own porch.
Oh, this roof is safe; the people who did the siding re-nailed it to the building. Uh huh. Are these the same people whose siding work you just said "looks like shit"? And you expect Mark, at 235 pounds, to stand on it, when clearly it is weathered and weak? I tried to hang a hammock from the joists this summer and it was pretty clear it wasn't going to hold my weight. I don't weigh anything near 235.
Yes, look near your woodstove - there is a new heater there. Uh, no, there isn't. There is one in the neighbor's apartment, but clearly the heater guy (not the lovely Mark) didn't make it over to my place. And, do you really think that I would look next to the woodstove, twice, and still not see a heater if one were in fact there? How stupid am I? (Hint: I know you have a Masters in Social Work, but you might not know that I have a Masters Degree too! I'm not an idiot, either inherently or as a result of my educational experience!)
Sigh. She's left now. And peace again descends on Port-au-Patois #7. Until the next time.
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