Remember a few years back, the low-fat potato chips with the miracle synthetic fat, Olestra? The one that the label said could give you "anal leakage"?

Well, it's back. It is the main ingredient in Alli, the most recently introduced weight loss product. Allegedly, you take the pills, you watch your fat intake, and the Alli keeps your body from absorbing some of the fat you eat.

Uh huh.

When your body suffers from a malabsorption problem, guess what it does? Right! It sends everything immediately to the poop shoot, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars. Oh, and while you're taking Alli, be sure to have several changes of clothes with you each day. That is what users are reporting is necessary to use the drug.

Folks, Alli is the Antabuse of the weight-loss epidemic. You take it, you eat fat, you lose your dignity and get very sick. While taking it, you must eat very little fat, or risk crapping yourself in public.

I ask you, how is this much different than just abusing laxatives? It's not. You might as well just buy Ex-Lax if you're going to abuse your body this way; it's much cheaper. Alli is just institutionalized anorexia, without all the fun of letting the client be the control freak.

Tell your friends. Alli is not your ally.