Back pain, that is. Most of the time it's just a slight thing, a subtle annoyance, a background noise.

Not lately. I'm in total flare up. Nothing's working. Worst in ten years, I swear.

I have not really acknowledged the effect chronic pain is having on my life, because when it's in the minor annoyance stage, I'm not aware of it. That sounds weird, but you know how it's possible to ignore background noise? That's how it is. Unrecognized, uncredited. Yet it causes me to do things I'd rather not do.

Like eat. It is possible that some of my food seeking is driven by low-level chronic pain. This is just my theory. It'd be nice to have a scapegoat, right? Those endorphins that make our pain less are easily stimulated through gustatory pleasure. Srsly.

When pain flares, at least low-back pain, I have the double treat of the pain and a loss of function. If I bend over, I can't get up without being stabbed. If I try to roll over in bed, my hip is suddenly and mercilessly on fire. Immobility, as in sleep or sitting, makes this worse. Coughing and sneezing are an invitation to double over. Joy, oh joy.

Muthah fuckah! (Did you hear Steve Carell in Forty-Year-Old Virgin? I always do.)

Here is the anatomical information, the where and the what of the problem. Not the why, alas. I'd give someone money or more for the why.

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The hip and low back musculature is somewhat complicated. Shortening of the iliopsoas complex is responsible for 90% of low back pain. It is shortened due to time spent sitting, driving, anything that keeps it short. Our lifestyles in general don't provide for adequate standing and stretching to keep this muscle group from being chronically short. Notice how and where the psoas inserts into the spine. Right where most of us would put our hands, and say "ow".





Here is our friend psoas again, this time with tensor fascia latae, or TFL. This hurts, too. In fact, it doesn't so much hurt as it burns. No clue why this is inflamed.





For the first time for me, the glutes are involved. These are the ones in the worst spasm, and the ones that require intense direct pressure in order to release. When I'm desperate (maybe twice in the last year), I actually lie on a rolling pin and created intense direct pressure to the origin of the muscle along the iliac crest. It works for a while.

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I see the chiropractor on Tuesday. My massage therapist wants to rule out any nerve impingement or other structural problems. I agree. I'm getting tired of taking muscle relaxants that work only half the time.

And so, instead of taking more meds, I'm up at 2am, drinking chamomile tea, watching "March of the Penguins" on Discovery Channel, and trying to om my way to something better.