My sister, younger than me, married a geezer. Her words, not mine. She just turned 40, he is 57ish and very hard of hearing.

Today was my niece's 3rd birthday party. I bought her a full set of percussion instruments including a snare drum, small cymbals, maracas, a triangle, and two clacky wooden instruments.

Miss Teen asked me if I was trying to kill my sister. "No", I said, "just Jack"....Miss Teen replied, "won't work, he can't hear the instruments."




Son, (age 10.5), was freaking out about my choice of coffee cup yesterday. It was the huge (of course) Viagra cup that a drug rep gave us. Son thinks it is gross to drink coffee out of a cup that says Viagra on the side.

I asked him if he knew what viagra does. "Yup, it makes your weenie huge and keeps you from getting herpes." (where do they get their information) Needless to say we had a bit of a sex education talk to clarify the facts. Poor baby kept putting his hands over his ears crying out, "Do I have to hear this now, I am only 10!"