I have been feeling so much better! I was feeling so depressed and down, in spite of medication I had been taking since 1995. I finally made the decision to see a psychologist. I’ve been going once a week for about 3 weeks. I also saw a psychiatrist to talk about medication. He asked me a series of questions and talked to me a little about my life. His diagnosis was depression, (no big surprise there!) he said the goal was to get rid of the depression completely. Dr’s in the past have just been satisfied if I could function. He prescribed effexor XL. The first day I took it, WOW, I was amazed. The best way to describe it is someone turned on the lights. Everything is bright, crisp and clear. I’m not saying I still don’t have bad moods or that everything is better, but the way I feel is 100% better than I was.
Dr. Bill, my psychologist is really great, I like him and I like his take on things. He suggested I read a couple of books. The Assertive Woman and Self Esteem, They are good books and have given me a lot of useful information. I’ve been working on just saying what I mean, without manipulation or trying to induce guilt. I like the way being direct makes me feel, I feel in control and powerful. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I do know I don’t want to be a Medic anymore. Dr. Bill and I will work on setting some goals at some point.
I hurt my left knee on a call Friday. I thought it would get better, but by Sunday it was still bothering me, so I went to the Dr. I stayed home from work Monday and have to have it checked again Thursday. I really don’t think its going to be any better. If it’s not better I will see an orthopedic doc. Time will tell, I guess.