Please note that with the exception of the actual square footage of the apartment, every single number in this story is wrong. Ah, reporters. But the essence is correct. Also I generally don't wear colors nearly that bright, but they told me not to wear white, black, or gray. In horror, I said, "This is New York and I'm a writer!" But they were unmoved. (Please also note that the other featured apartment in this issue belongs to La La Anthony, Carmelo's wife! How cool is that? Of course, that portrait of Melo looks to be about the size of my place.)