I look back at something as simple as my sleep schedule and I realize I'm self-defeating. I go to sleep too late. Not extremely late, but late enough. Midnight is too late, if you've accrued as large a sleep debt as I have.

I cut my schedules very close, even for acts as simple as catching a bus.

I self-defeat so I need not bear the weight of success.

Failure has very little burden, at least in terms of new arenas. So I have to bear the name of 'failure.' And the consequences it may cost are known. If the name of failure become indelible on me, then the costs are lowered, as others know to not rely on me.

Success is uncertainty. What awaits us? At work, we have a bitter pithy: "The reward for doing good work is more work." It nudges the bar higher. If I could meet or exceed this height this once, then I should meet or exceed it hereafter.

Eventually, I will fail. That's a given. The matter is if I have given my all, if I can look back and say, "I did my best."