Emo-rant ahead. Nothing to see here, move along.

I guess you're going to indulge your curiosity. Well, don't say "I didn't warn you." This is going to be self-indulgence at its worst.

I've had a few people say that I'm smarter than most people they know. I'll admit to a bit of warmth hearing that, quite a bit. I'll also admit to a cube of fear, too. So often, I wonder if I'm fooling myself, fooling the rest of the world.

When I write my blog, it's because I feel I've something to share to help others. I tried the "dear diary" sort of blog where I talk about myself and my life. It doesn't much work. See, I understand that your reading this is an act on your part of extending trust and openness to me, to see what I've written. I feel I ought (there's another word for 'shoulda' again) make it worth your while, give you food for thought.

Yes, you read out of care. I've no illusions -- I know my blogs won't get forwarded or cross-linked (or plagiarized) because someone feels, "You gotta read this!" You read because you want to see "what's up with the kitty."

Usually, nothing.

More and more, I feel my life has found its groove. I face new challenges at work and in life, but they're new challenges in the same and known vein. Team isn't communicating, tools don't work, head doesn't work. Boring.

Head doesn't work. That brings me back to the point (if there is one) of this ramble-a-rant. If I'm so smart, how come I can't think of anything worthwhile to say so as to blog? I really admire you all who do blog daily, every-other-day, or any frequency greater than mine.

If I'm so smart, how come I feel so dumb?