Thanks for commenting. I'm going to page through them and try to give some two-way conversation with them, so it's not a case of me standing on my soapbox and reciting, then you standing in the audience and shouting back, but denied the satisfaction of seeing if / not I 'get it,' etc.

Mindgames and Mom

Thanks for the support, folks, especially those who have gone this way before. Sometimes, meds will make all the difference. However, short of declaring someone incompetent, I can't think of a way to make sure someone takes them, and the consequences can be pretty bad.

In my case, my mom is probably beyond medication, and the meanness that comes from the dementia has it's days. Other days, she wins. I try to talk to her daily, but some days it's just too much. As was pointed out to me, sometimes it's just survival.

Self-love is vital here, as in all strained situations. If I can't love myself, then I can't love others. Worse, if I cling to others for love, then I may continue to do so even after their ability to provide it is stolen away by time and fate.

Self-love gets me through the doubt, the pain, the suspicion of ill intent and barbed words. Well, not really. You all help. A lot.

Toy Thoughts

So long as you're smarter than your technology, all's well. There's no point buying stuff when half the features will sit there unused. On the other hand, if it just works and you get a good experience, then it's money well spent.

What Kind of Empath Are You

We all have opportunity to know each other. For me, it's more a matter of time and energy -- I'm constantly tired, stretched thin, otherwise, I'd call you all brothers and sisters. It'd be a great family.

But I'd still be the Fallen Angel empath. ;)

Quick Quiz

Thanks for the boost. I do write this for me, in that writing things down helps me hone them. However, I do write it for you as well. It's an odd paradox, but the awareness that I am brushing against such a multitude of people here online drives home my loneliness all the more. Thanks to you all for reading, for commenting, for talking to me about stuff I raise in email and IM.

Re: self-pressure. It's the most insidious. No one is actually saying it, so I can't fight back. It's hard to fight spirits, wraiths. No one is putting on the pressure. It's jsut me, all me. I see it, and I feel it.

As for "If I'm the only person reading my blog, then a VIP is reading my blog," that brought a smile to me, and perspective. I think the smile is more treasured, but only barely.

Thanks all!