Regarding the "Mindgames and Mom" entry. Turns out my cousin was aware that my mother was telling her one thing and me another about the nursing home. To her, my mom said how the staff ignored her, how nothing was to her liking, how there were barbs and slights aplenty. To me, she said that it was nice, that it was pleasant, etc.

My cousin's take is that my mother told me the rosy view, even if complete falsehood, so that I would not worry. I'm two states away. My cousin is two cities away. She can visit weekly, and does. I can barely visit monthly, what with other family members needing medical attention. (Note to self: fodder for another entry.)

In retrospect, I think my cousin has a good draw on the situation. Occam's Razor states " Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate " or "plurality should not be posited without necessity." In other words, KISS -- keep it simple, stupid.

That one answer is the simplest, accounts for all the facts and requires the least hoop-jumping to do so. It also fits with my "hope for the best (and prepare for the worst)" outlook. In accusing, even mentally, my mother of some scheme to put my cousin at odds with me so we'd come to her in hopes of her rendering the Solomonic verdict plays to my own perspectives on power, that it's everywhere and people wield and yield it often without realizing so.

However, "put on a good face so your son won't worry" is an equally likely explanation, simpler, and does not paint any party in a sinister hue. Not just simplicity, but also a better outlook on life.

This gives opportunity for reflection. My external reaction would still be the same. "Cousin, you have medical power of attorney. If my mother says it's a bad nursing home, you're free to ask the social worker to find another one."

My thoughts would be different. More charitable, less angry. I'd not view this as evidence that my mother was playing some game, or ascribe reasons to her that were petty and sinister.

I'd have had one more night of good sleep.