Or "A Real Bummer Entry"

• SpouseKitty is in radiological isolation. Relax, it was a known possibility. Back in March or so, she had radioactive iodine treatment to kill her case of thyroid cancer. Today was supposed to be a pro forma scan to give it the all clear. There was a chance it wasn't.
  
  Lucky us.
  
  Still, SpouseKitty is the "expect the worst, hope for the best, land somewhere inbetween." I'm that way, too, but I'm not as vocal about expecting the worst. I figure, if I'm prepared, I'm prepared. If not, it's lesson learned for next time. So, she went to the scan with her hospital bag at the ready. Good thing.
  
  
• Mom's Alzheimer's syndrome is hitting all the classical early symptoms. No "who are you, who am I" yet. Mood changes, personality change, some reality shifting, persecution complex and paranoia.
  
  Calling her is a chore. There's the language barrier. There's the religion issue. There's the culture gulf. That's always been there. She had me when she was 42, so we're worlds apart. She's an immigrant who ensconced herself in Chinatown culture. She speaks very little English, understands very little American culture. That's how things have always been.
  
  Now, she's getting manipulative. She accuses my cousin of incarcerating her. She claims that I'm the good one, my cousin's the evil one, etc. It's all very hurtful. She sees others giving tips to the staff, so she wants money to give tips. Cousin works 60+ hours a week, can't spare the money. I offer to give it, but cousin says it's irresponsible. She's right. You don't give $5 to people for doing their jobs, not on a day-to-day basis.
  
  
• Racquetball is getting a little unfun. The person running one of the ladders is a martinet. "You sign up for this ladder, you're expected to play your matches." That's his nice tone. He also can't keep track of the players.
  
  Last week, I scheduled a game with one opponent of two. He agrees, but we can't get a court. I grab the next court, then schedule it again with him. He doesn't respond. When the ladder fuhrer demands to know why I didn't play, I say so. His response? "Failure to play your match is grounds for being dropped from the ladder."
  
  The other guy also responds to his email, cc'ing me. Evidently, the other guy made arrangements to be put on hold this round. Ladder fuhrer forgot. Oops. So he sends my opponent an email, "Ah, you were the one." Notice any missing word? Starts with an 's', ends with an '-orry?'
  
  He sent that email before his "cause for being dropped from the ladder" love note to me, too.
  
  I try to be a diplomat, so I replied back to ladder fuher's email, writing, "The thread got split. Merging it back." Then copy-pasted his absolution email to my opponent, cc'ing my opponent.
  
  The thread did get split another way, too. My opponent emailed me saying, "Want to meet today at 7 to make it up?" So we did. I lost, but it was a fun game, the one good thing to come of this mess. We email the response back to ladder fuhrer, who simply responds with, "I thought you were going to play later this week."
  
  See above, re: missing a word, etc.
  
  There, I've vented. I can't gripe at him, so I try to find lessons and humour in it. I recycle the bile at me into something hopefully enlightening or entertaining to read.
  
  
• On a related note, I've always found apologizing when I am wrong to be a sign of strength of character. Ladder fuhrer's high-handed "as you were" reminds me of an example in the power of an apology.
  
  At my old job, I knew it worked to my favour at least once. Something went south in a big way and the blamestorming began. I stayed silent on the issue, working to resolve it, but watching the dungball wend this way and that. When it headed my way, one of my customers spoke out. "I'm sure it's not [taer]. If it was his fault, he'd have owned up to it by now." End of my name being associated with that offal-fest.
  
  That's trust. That's earned power, the sort deserved. Being shrill and abrasive gets compliance, but not loyalty.
  
  
• Had another example of power and responsibility today. Had a talk with a friend, one who entrusted much in me (as is the meaning of friend). The trust is reciprocated, and we are open in words and thought to each other.
  
  One stray sentence, and I wounded a heart. I can't say, "I meant well," as defense. I can't say, "I take it back." All I can do is say, "I'm sorry." All I can be is to be there when things heal.
  
  Build anew.
  
  
• Found the joy of writing again. I have no idea where the story is going, but I love the possibilities it opens.
  
  Actually, I have a lot of possible ideas, but they're too done, too melodramatic, too anti-climatic, too something. So, I have no idea where it's going.
  
  I know it's been fun getting her thus far, and it'll be fun from this point forward, hopefully.

That's a summary of life at Chez Kitty so far. It's certainly been tumultuous.