"You can work any 80 hours you want."

Supposedly, that was a joke an advance team told a member of the subject company after they were acquired on paper but not fully enfolded. If I remember the lore properly, it did not go over very well.

Not all groups are as insane as mine. I will find out sooner or later. One of the other bits of unspoken corporate culture is that we're supposed to reinvent ourselves every few years, lest we look stale. Two years seems to be the starting point - we're not allowed to switch jobs internally for one year after we start one (too much churn is non-productive), and per one sage, we really should stay for two years.

But after two years, all's fair.

The first part is an 'informational.' It's a getting-to-know-you meeting, to see if it's worth pursuing the rest of the dance. Informationals are under the table - no one need know, aside from the hiring manager you're talking to.

In my case, I was in a bit of a bind. I had an informational, and something went bang in my real job so I was asked to stick around, even though I asked for the afternoon off. What to do, what to do...

I told my manager I couldn't, that I had an informational and that I'd attend to it as soon as I could thereafter. Which I did -- I may be many things of questionable character, but I am not one to leave coworkers in the lurch.

That was two weeks ago. My manager has then since made many motions and noises to look after my work-life balance. However, point remains, my work is killing me.

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Funny thing is, when I first started working in this field, I did claim much of my identity. "My name is <Taer> and I work for <Foo.Com> as a sysadmin." I liked being part of the dot-com boom. I even managed to retain some of my corporate pride during the dot-combustion phase, too.

Now, I'm older and wiser. SpouseKitty is not part of the tech field anymore, and her disabilities cast a larger shadow over my life. Kitten's disabilities aren't quite as looming, but they still cause me concerns probably alien to most parents of neurotypicals.

I work for a big company. It treats me well. It has insane benefits. I have access to just about any tool or toy that I can make a sound business justification for. I love working here.

But I love it for what it does for me, for us. The pay, the medical coverage. As much as I love my coworkers, I'm not wedded to them.

I work because I have to, and that sort of sucks that I have to work the hours I do.