You want a bailout? Sure.

I want any "golden parachute" deal torn up, then I want the pink slips of your CEO, CFO and chairman. If an average line worker f*cked up as badly as your CEO, CFO and/or chairman did, they'd be sent packing. What say we lead by example?

I want your company, all your executives (including the ex-CEO, ex-CFO and ex-chairman) and everyone on your board of directors to undergo a tax audit.

I want you to cap everyone's gross annual compensation (including benefits, stock grants, and other "it's-not-a-paycheck' perks) at 150% of that of their immediate subordinates' average gross annual compensation. Why should your VP get 500x that of the average worker?

I want to you to stop outsourcing jobs. If it's American dollars you want, it stays in America.

I want you to move your corporate headquarters back to the US, so you get taxed like any other entity. If you're going to receive our tax money, we get yours.

I want these conditions to stay in place until you pay us back the money we are investing in you and our future. This is not a gift, this is not a charity. You showed no charity to us, so we are reciprocating. This is just business, nothing more.

You still want that bailout? Please take it, because I sure want you to have it.