Yeah, you heard me. MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS

All this crap about people being OFFENDED by Merry Christmas really gets my tinsel in a tizzy.

I am 1/2 Jewish and 1/2 Catholic. If I can co-exist happily within myself, I think the rest of the world can too.

Here are a few hints that I have for the idiots out there who are offended by Merry Christmas:

1) If you don't celebrate it, then it should not offend you. If someone wishes you a Merry Merry, simply say, "THank you, but not applicable. But I appreciate the happy intention of your greeting!"

2) The tree with the ornaments on it and the star at the top of it is called a CHRISTMAS TREE. Not a HOLIDAY tree, it's a CHRISTMAS TREE. Get over it. The thing with all the candles on it, is a MENORAH. Not a light stick, or a candleabra (however it is spelled.) So, do NOT insult those who use them as part of their celebration by calling it something it is not. It is very offensive.

3) The worst thing that should happen to you in life is that you are wished a Merry Christmas by someone. I can think of far worse offenses than having someone wish you well.

Ok, we're good? Yes?

If you're still having a problem with Merry Christmas or any other religious holiday greeting, I hear that France has a wonderful program over there for having a non-religious society. So, maybe, if you're good, Santa Claus will bring you a new set of luggage and a passport and you can go live in Paris and roast marshmallows on the bonfires in the streets.

And for those of you who might leave unpleasant comments responding to this post, I have only two words for you:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!