Last night was my four-year anniversary with Heather -- four years since I decided I wanted to stay in California with her rather than move to the East Coast. It's been an amazing few years, and I look forward to many more with her.

I completely forgot to mention Tropism's fifth birthday, back on April 20th -- happy belated birthday, Tropism! You've been fueling my introspection for half a decade. Keep it coming.

Now, answers to some questions:

Do you identify more closely with Bugs or with Daffy?

Bugs. Daffy defines himself by his envy of Bugs, rather than trying to make something of himself on his own terms. I reject such a relativistic approach to defining my self-worth.

What's your favorite recreation most unrelated to writing?

Tripping, on shrooms or acid (but not mescaline -- shudder). Haven't done it in years, but it was always the most fun I ever had. As for stuff I still do, well, watching good movies is always a treat, and is probably my main form of recreation. Not as much fun as watching Monkey vs. Robot or Aqua Teen Hunger Force while peaking on 'shrooms, but hey, you can't have everything.

Two parter: If you were a tree, with what kind of implement would you most prefer to be cut down, and what fate would you like your vegetable carcass to meet?

(I'm tempted to say "a herring," but I'm not sure I'm geeky enough to say it with the proper conviction...) One of those giant saws that requires a lumberjack at each end, working in tandem. And I'd like to be pulped and made into paper for whichever volume of Harry Potter is the one where Harry loses his virginity.

What has constituted the best five minutes of your life to date?

Five minutes isn't time for much emotional complexity, especially for someone as relentlessly introspective and self-critiquing as me, so it must be a more physical "best"; probably some orgasm-and-afterglow iteration. Occasionally I get these inexplicable rushes of total euphoria, where everything seems perfect and wonderful, but those never last five whole minutes.

Why do you keep cutting your hair?

I challenge your premise. I've only cut my hair twice in the past five years. But to address the spirit of your question, I wore my hair long for many many years, and decided I wanted a change, so I got it cut short last December. Having short hair, alas, requires maintenance, and my hair grows fast enough that it was already in my eyes and becoming a big bushy monster after four months, so I got it cut again. And I will continue thusly until I decide I want it long again...

What's the most interesting food you've ever eaten?

I guess pickled pig's feet count as "interesting." Or liver mush. Or chitlins. Or pork brains and eggs.

What theme are you most compelled to write about in your fiction?

I almost never think about theme. But looking back, I notice that I write about loss a lot -- lost love, lost innocence, lost opportunities. (I'm thinking of "Little Gods," "The Witch's Bicycle," "Down with the Lizards and the Bees," "Living with the Harpy," "In a Glass Casket"... wow, I could really go on and on.) Which is odd, since I think of myself as a fairly optimistic writer. I write a lot about people getting over lost things, too, though.

At what point do we escape the mistakes of our parents in raising us?

I don't think we do escape all of them. We just try to keep them from screwing us up too badly, and if we're diligent and careful, we resist inflicting those same mistakes on our own children (freeing us to make new and original mistakes).

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

The sound of three pounds of flax.

If anybody has more questions, ask away. It's fun for me.