I feel kind of like I'm about to do the Trust Fall at a ROPES course (you know, the thing where you have to fall backwards from a platform and trust the people on the ground to catch you). I say this because I HATE the Trust Fall -- I never could do it when we did the ROPES course in high school. It had nothing to do with not trusting other people, I just can't stand not being able to see where I'm going. (The same reason why back handsprings were such a problem in my gymnastics days.)

Anyway, a number of things are going to happen in the next few days/weeks/months that give me that exact same uneasy feeling. My thesis will be turned in by next Friday and I will be cleared to graduate. My brother will graduate from college and then get married. I will be trading in both my roommates (at least temporarily) for two new ones. I will have to make more or less permanent decisions about a job, an apartment, and a car. Even though I know I'm going to be fine at the end of all this, possibly even happier, I can't see exactly how things are going to turn out. It's just the tiniest bit terrifying.

Good news is my car is driveable again. It looks like crap, because the leprosy/paint peeling is just going crazy, the front passenger door is all beat up still, and I haven't yet had time to clean up all the mess the thieves made. They dumped all the papers from the glove box and console in the floor, smoked (cigarettes and pot) and left that trash (and smell-- I had to buy a baby air freshener). Plus it was parked under a tree for a week at the repair shop, so you-know-what is all over the trunk. But I don't feel so trapped in my apartment. It's supposed to be nice this weekend so I'm going to hit the Auto Spa (yes, I know) and at least get it clean, even if I can't afford to take it to the body shop just yet.

Must go now and "sleep." (Meaning lie in bed while my mind races with all the things I have to do.)