Reading: Girl Genius
Music: early Ella Fitzgerald
TV/Movie: Connections ^3
Link o' the Day: Looking to Hire a Zapgun? Why Not Buck Godot?



Welcome to Friday, and if it's Friday then it's time to check the mail. First up is a flyer printed on a garish neon-green page in lettering that could be best described as the sort used in ransom notes. No points to these fellows for typography. It reads:

Take Advantage of Our Latest Specials!!!

Old Doc Shubin Jr.'s Miracle Foot Creme

Do you feet get tired and sore? Do they leave in the middle of the night, leaving you with nothing but stumps in the morning? Well fret no more as Old Doc Shubin Jr.'s Miracle Foot Creme comes to the rescue. Just slather on, and new feet grow in mere minutes. Use those minutes to consider also purchasing...

Witch Hexel's Miracle Wrinkle Creme

Yes, with Witch Hexel's Miracle Wrinkle Creme you can attain deep, craggy wrinkles seconds faster than other miracle wrinkle cremes. Your neighbors will be your astounded (and won't your spouse be surprised!) when they discover they can barely see your face at all under a mass of miracle wrinkles. Don't thank us yet, but consider another of our latest products...

Strange Uncle Harvey's Miracle Hair Creme

Got hair? Now you don't. Hair will never grow again--it's like you've "salted the Earth". Want hair? Now it's growing faster than Rapunzel could say "Antidistestablishmentarianism" with no end in sight. Truly a miracle in hair science. (Not for pregnant women, children under five or over 12, or the Irish.) As you ponder this miracle, consider one more...

Hoppy Go Lucky's Miracle Vanishing Creme

World gotcha down? Are you surrounded on all sides by the slings and arrows of oppression? Hitting the glass ceiling or suffering from agism? There's often only one way out, and that way out is Hoppy Go Lucky's Miracle Vanishing Creme. Be the talk of the town as you step out of your hovel a new man or woman, ready to take on the world. How does it work? No one knows. Does it work at all? Why would we lie? For real?

No..not really. To be honest, we don't know. But we can say this... none of our customers have every filed a complaint!

To order one of our patent Miracle Cremes, please see the attached order sheet. Make sure to ask for our catalog with a selection of over a 100 other Miracle Cremes that can change your life!. Give us the names and addresses of your friends, your enemies, of strangers you meet on trains. Everyone should have this opportunity.

That'll show 'em!

In addition to the above reproduced flyer, was a short message on rag paper written in crimson ink. It reads:

To Whom It May Concern:

Five times five is thirty.
Thirty times thirty is forty-four
Forty-four times forty-four is six hundred and eight
Six hundred and eight times six hundred and eight is five.

This is all we have to say on the matter at this time. We await your signal.

(unsigned)

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Today's link goes to my latest review column at ForcesOfGeek.com: Looking to Hire a Zapgun? Why Not Buck Godot? in which I celebrate the Phil Foglio creation Buck Godot and his wild adventures in the Gallimaufry universe. Action! Intrigue! Zapguns!



What's not to love?