Reading: The New Yorker
Music: Strike Anywhere
TV/Movie: Blindness
Link o' the Day: Error - You have spent too much time on the net

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This week's mail includes the usual hand-pressed rag paper missive, plus a very official looking business envelope which doth readeth:

Dear Applicant,
Thank you for sending us one of your prototypes to review. We are returning the prototype by special delivery. Unfortunately, we cannot recommend your invention to our clients or investors at this time. You may want to consider tweaking some of the features and removing some of the bugs before submitting your invention with us or another broker. Some suggestions:

• Most users will not expect or desire sudden change in hair color whenever your device is switched on.


• While the orgasmic side effect will be desirous to some users, it is inconsistent in both strength and frequency. Needs tuning.


• Should everything taste like cashews?


• While we are sure it's just a coincidence, did you realize that all of your suggested brand names are also unforgiveable curse words in five languages in potential market zones?


• We feel that, even after you have fixed some of the bugs, there should be a warning label on the side cautioning use by pregnant women or anyone with braces on their teeth.


• Likewise, a label advising external use only might also be advisable.


• The adaptations for housepets, while clever, will get you into more legal trouble than would be worth it.


• Can it also catch fish? It seems like it... well, we thought it worth asking. Finally...


• Nine out of ten times, everything seemed to work fine... but that tenth time? Woah!

Thank you for thinking of us. Good luck and for god's sake, be careful!
(signed)
Philo LeBlatt
Corking Ingenuity

I'll keep my eye out for the prototype, but the really cool stuff never actually makes it here.

My friends of the watchtower continue to send me messages.

To Whom It May Concern,

We're getting hungry up here
And are considering ordering a pizza
If you are interested in going in on it with us
We desire to know your toppings preference.

(Truth be told, we're hungry up here, and bored. As ever, we await your signal.)

(signed)
Unsigned

Not the most ominous of notes they've ever sent me... or is it?

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Today's link goes to Error - You have spent too much time on the net. It's pretty self-explanatory. I think it woulod be interesting to find more links leading to this page. About half of what one might see on Youtube, for instance.

Cheers!