Reading: Fosfax
Music: Great Big Sea
TV/Movie: Mighty Aphrodite
Link o' the Day: The Marvel Comics Database

My apologies to those who expected me to write more this week than Tuesday's Rumor piece and today's Mailbag piece. I've been keeping way busy, as usual, and there hasn't been much interesting to report besides that. If you hunger for my words so much and you're all out of gin...my weekly column at ForcesOfGeek.com went up last night. First Encounters With the Geek Kind can be found by clicking the link.

On to this week's mail!




I recently received a neat, white envelope from a Dr. O'Riley, a film professor from Arkham Community College from a Mr. Wise of Port Jefferson, NY. The postmark is over ten years old, however, and after reading the letter I did some research online...first, though, the letter:

Dear Mr. Wise,
Thank you for bringing to my attention the work of Spyro Kilkenney. I thought I was familiar with all of the directors to have come out of Greenwich Village in the 40s, but Kilkenney seems to have escaped both my notice and the notice of other film historians. Given the nature of his work, I am somewhat surprised. Perhaps he fell victim to the Red Scare following the war? Or perhaps his work was too ahead of its time to be treated seriously by contemporaries, so his work was never discussed. After an exhaustive and dilligent search, I was able to find theatre listings for some of Kilkenney's film being shown in cities such as Toledo, New Haven, Providence, Talahassee, Olympia, and Fairbanks--but no reviews, and nothing past 1949.
I am currently compiling a series of reviews and analyses of Kilkenney's work, as we discussed, but would ask that you pass on any biographical data and other relevant historical material you come across from your half of our proposed book so that I may place his work in the correct context. Some specific requests, if you don't mind, would be:

• In Guns Over the Niagara, Kilkenney's use of prosthetics suggest that the federal agents looking for the trio of high school girls are, in actuality, robots. Was this his intent? Or did he simply like actors with prosthetics?


• Why does he often portray store owners as rag dolls. He does this in five out of the seven movies you've shown me. Perhaps this is why he was thought to be a communist?


• While film directors often make short cameos in their films--Kilkenney is the only one I have ever seen to actually carry a large placard during his cameo that reads, "I am the director, Spyro Kilkenny." Follow-up: is the alternate spelling of his last name intentional? He does this all five times.


• Home For Christmas Pudding is confusing in that it does not take place around Christmas, there is no pudding, and it is the story of an anthropologist exploring Africa--with no mention of going home whatsoever. Also, the credits do not match the actors nor roles. Obviously there was a mix-up in the titling cards which leads one to wonder where the actual film Home for Christmas Pudding is, and what the title of this particular piece actually should be.


• It is plainly evident that Kilkenney was either unaware or didn't care about child labor laws. Comment?


• Is that a young Ronald Reagan being beaten up by Russian tea ladies in Forget the Alamo? Uncredited, apparently. I also note an uncredited appearance by Jackie Coogan in two distinct roles--one as a young pickpocket, and again as a middle-aged congressman. Can you shed any light on this? Are there other uncredited but notable appearances?


• His film One Cup, Two Girls is extremely unsettling. I'm just saying.


• Finally, the ending to The Lives of Five Presidents is extremely unclear. The five former presidents are all in a car. The car goes off the road. First we lose the sound, then the camera rolls wildly and blacks out. Then the reel ends. Is this a problem with the reel? Are we missing footage?

This should give us a start. I've already spoken with a publisher who says that if we provide him with a manuscript by November, he can have a book printed and ready for distribution before Easter.
Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Yours sincerely,
(signed)
Phineas T. O'Riley

It should come to no surprise to my regular readers that my research yielded no results for anyone named Spyro Kilkenney. It appears his work will continue to go unknown. Big surprise, eh? My mailbox--it's like the dead-letter office... only weirder.

Along with the O'Riley letter was the familiar rag-paper note. Usually it's folded rather neatly. This week it appears to have been stuffed in my mailbox rather hastily. It reads:

To Whom It May Concern:

We're in a bit of a rush.
We cannot reveal why.
If you've a signal to give
by god
Please give it
Before we all burn.

In the meantime, if you need us, we'll be in the sewers...
where it's safer.

(signed)
unsigned

-=-=-=-=-=-=-



Today's link goes to The Marvel Comics Database. More information on Marvel comics than is probably healthy. Don't believe me? Try it for yourself. This was how I was able to track down a specific issue of The Incredible Hulk from 1975 based on nothing more than some dim memories of one page of action. Took less than five minutes.