Reading: random comic books from the 70s and 80s
Music: Gorillaz
TV/Movie: Catch-22
Link o' the Day: MUFON - the Mutual UFO Network



Welcome to Friday, and welcome to the mailbag--which is actually a mailbox if you want to get technical about it. The first piece of mail comes in a plain white business envelope from a Manhattan address. It reads:

Dear Sir(s),

It has come to our attention here at Winter & Nash that you've been in contact with an individual who calls herself Dr. Petula Gregorii and who claims to be an investigator for an unnamed group of so-called scientists are studying certain phenomenon.

We feel it is our duty to warn you that Dr. Gregorii (if a doctor she truly is) is skilled charlatan of the highest order. Her unlikely claim to have discovered the full skeleton of a blue whale in the Himalayas was intriguing, but the later claim to have ruled the whale's death as a result of impact from falling from a great height strikes us as entirely ludicrous and calls many of her other claims into question. Likewise, her outrageous claims and poor follow-up has become a source of embarassment for many of those who have previously funded her epeditions.

For instance:

Regarding her discovery of a species of 13-tentacled giant freshwater squid residing in the far depths of the Caspian Sea suggests a carelessness in observation and a tendency toward rushing to conclusions without proper scientific evidence. As to the the remains she claimed to have found, she blames the crew of the Baku with "poor preservation techniques by peasant fishermen" for its supposed dissolving.

We do not believe she has discovered a sequoia in western Canada that has grown, as she puts it "upside-down" with branches and leaves buried in the soil, and its roots sticking up into the air. The only proof she supplies are a few dirty and gnarled branches. There is no photographic or other proper evidence of her claim. Likewise...

Her claim that from the northern slope of Kilimanjaro, one can observe clouds passing behind the moon strikes us as the fanciful conclusions of careless observers who do not understand the basics of optical illusion.

She recently made headlines in certain newspapers not known for dedicated journalism in her announcement of a secluded valley in South America being discovered in which stone pylons depict such historic events as the moon landing, the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, and the Reagan assasination attempt. The photos supplied in these newspaper stories are, without exception, blurred beyond belief and the occasional accompanying drawing looks to have been done by a five year old with palsy.

We understand that this Dr. Petula Gregorii is contacting your organization in hopes of securing funding for an expedition to the Australian outback where she claims she and her party expect to uncover the lost remains of several noted cases of missing persons (to whit: Amelia Earhart, Judge Force Crater, and Ambrose Bierce). We understand all too well how the potent comibination of Dr. Gregorii's charm, charisma, and misguided devotion to her cause can aid in securing her funding (we ourselves contributed to the Himalayan expedition), which is why we here at Winter & Nash feel compelled to warn you.

Save yourself the grief and the funds and avoid any one-on-one meeting with Dr. Gregorii. Be unexpectedly out of town. Be out of the country, or better yet, off the continent. Get quarantined in a sickhouse. Get sent to prison. Believe us when you say you will lose less money in any of these ways than if you were to sit down with Dr. Gregorii and allow her to make her proposals to you in person.

Don't say we didn't try to warn you.

Your servants,

Winter & Nash

Next up is the old familiar rag paper with crimson ink note, but this week rather than being folded carefully, I found it crumpled and stuffed into the bottom of the mailbox. It reads:

To Whom It May Concern,

We are being followed. We are rushed in writing this, and likewise rushed in delivering.

We await your signal, but for God's sake wait until whatever is following us grows bored or dies.

signed,

(unsigned)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



Into UFOs? Me neither, but you'd be surprised how many people are and how many sightings are reported each day. Check out the website of MUFON - the Mutual UFO Network who, for forty years, have been the central meeting point for UFO buffs the world over.

Enjoy, and keep watching the skies!