On Saturday, April 1st, there was another NE Pub Crawl. I think this was my 4th or 5th crawl. They kind of blend together after awhile. Especially considering the amount of alcohol consumed on each. This one was the 'reverse' path, as I like to call it. Start point - Mayslack's at noon. End point - Elsie's around 6pm. Hitting 11 bars in between. 11. ELEVEN. Pretty ambitious, eh? Getting to NE is usually a feat in itself. Do you drive? Take a cab? Get a ride somehow? Other NE pub crawls I've cabbed it up there. But Saturday I was left kind of stranded (Thanks a lot, AM and JO. JK. TTYL!) so I drove myself up there and parked at Elsie’s in a spot where my car would be safe if I had to leave it there overnight. (which I did) The walk from Elsie's to Mayslack's is way easier than I thought. It took me 10 minutes? Totally doable again. The bar schedule was 30 minutes at each. So by the time I got there, the crowd had left Mayslack's for the Night Cap which is... across the street. Literally. NE is funny like that. It's all houses and then there will be 3 bars next to each other. Works great for a pub crawl, though.

I wasn't too sad about missing Mayslack's because the bartender is always in a bad mood when the pub crawls storm through. Mayslack's is also a pretty decent music venue for local bands. I've never seen a show there, but I've heard good things.

Night Cap (or is it Knight Cap? I’ve seen both.) was in the middle of a meat raffle. (I don't have the energy to go into how funny this is to me... maybe a different post dedicated to meat raffles?) Right before I got there, AM tried to put music on the jukebox and was yelled at by the Meat-Master (my word, not his). Apparently you aren't allowed to play music during the raffle. The bar is so full of regulars they don't need to put a sign up. Everyone else just knew the appropriate raffle behavior. Night Cap also has horseshoes outside. I didn't play, but I watched. Horseshoes is a scary game to let drunk people play. Throwing big heavy metal objects in the general direction of people? Not a good idea in my book.

After Night Cap we had to walk 3 blocks to Jimmy's. I never remember what Jimmy's is like. All the NE bars are kind of the same. Small, booths along one side, a bar along the other, bathrooms on the end. Oh! Wait... Jimmy's has wood paneled walls and a big booth along the wall opposite the bar. I think you can snack on shrimp cocktail or beef sticks at Jimmy's. They don't have much for me to drink, but you can get champagne or a warm Mike's Hard Lemonade and a tiny little glass with ice. The bathroom is covered in gold Formica - walls, counter, everything. It's amazing.

Grumpie's was next on the list. Down 2 more blocks. Grumpie’s is a little nicer. They've taken a lot of care to make their name into a logo. They even had little pins for sale for $1! I hope I still have mine... This bar is a little bigger than Night Cap and Jimmy's. They have a great jukebox and darts. AND Strongbow Cider on tap. Heaven!

Next was NE Palace, which I do enjoy. They have a huge patio in back with this crazy rock garden/sculpture fountain thing. The last time I was there (on a pub crawl of course) we surprised them so much, they had the guys working on the fountain come in and help bartend. Pub crawls bring people together! This time, however, we stayed at Grumpie’s too long and skipped NE Palace to catch up with the rest of the crawl. I was happy with my Strongbow and didn't want to leave anyway. (NE Palace only has hard lemonade.)

Stasiu's was next. It's pronounced either Stosh-oo's Or Stoss-oo's. I'm not sure. You have to walk a few blocks to get there, so it seems far away. It's not though. This bar has great karaoke at night. We were there at 2:30 in the afternoon, though, so sadly, it wasn't on yet. They rearranged since the last time I was there though - the karaoke performers now have a stage! I'm totally going back ASAP. The big attractions at Stasiu's are the urinals in the men's bathroom. Ladies, don't be shy, it's totally ok to peak in the door! Although I would make sure you have a guy with you incase the urinals are occupied. They are enormous, porcelain, and probably worth a lot of money now. Stasiu's has darts, pool, and a large seating area. Totally on the high-class end of NE bars.

Next up was Psycho Suzi's. Probably one of the coolest places in NE. It's an old drive-up A&W. One of the ones where you stay in your car and they bring the food out. How awesome is that? They use that part for parking now. The inside is a tiki bar. Complete with fake wood floor-patterned carpet and wood paneled walls. They serve their cocktails in tiki glasses - monkey heads, pirate faces, etc. You get to keep the glass, but they charge you $5. They have one drink - the Volcano - which comes out in a huge bowl with multiple straws, and a shot of everclear in the middle that's on fire. It's meant for a few people, but I've seen people drink them alone. They also have pretty good food. They have pizza, lots of fried apps, sandwiches, ect. They also have corndog nuggets, which they disgustingly call "Red Rockets" on the menu. Gross. Psycho Suzi's also has a really great patio with heaters in the winter and it’s totally happening in the summer/nicer months. Mind the stairs though! I've seen one too many drunk falls back there.

After Psycho Suzi's we went across the street to Tony Jaro's River Garden. This bar is tiny, but wonderful. They are known for their "Greenies". Don't quote me on this, but I think it's vodka, soda water, and green jello powder. Soooo good! Ok, according to this it's not green jello. :( It's limeade mix. Either way, go there, have one, talk to the regulars, enjoy it!

Next was Gabby's. I'm not a fan of Gabby's. It's a two story bar that advertises "Open to river boaters". I didn't know there was a river near by. I should look into that... According to googlemaps, there sure is a river right behind it! Who knew? The bottom level is a sports bar type place. Pool tables, darts, food, drinks. It's pretty big. The upper level is a dance club and only open at night. I've only been dancing there once, but it's not a pretty crowd. All the townies come out from the cracks to get their grooves on. It's cute to see older people at a dance club, but it's not really my scene. So I skipped it this time around.

Dusty's was also skipped over. We stayed at Psycho Suzie's too long. The corndog nuggets were just too tempting to resist, gross name and all. If I remember correctly - Dusty's is even smaller than Tony Jaro's. Bar on one side, tables in the middle, jukebox in front of the bathrooms. It's not a bad place, but I was on a mission to catch up so we carried on.

The walk from Tony Jaro's all the way to Laura's 1029 Bar was a long one. 15 blocks, I think. If we had stopped at either Gabby's or Dusty's it wouldn't have seemed so daunting. But it was a nice day. And we were all a few sheets to the wind. Laura's 1029 is my favorite place to do karaoke. I heard a rumor they don't do it on Saturday nights anymore though. Sad! It's still fun though. It's a cop bar, so for those of you on the run from the law, you might want to skip this bar. They have police paraphernalia all over the walls, and I'm pretty sure the NE cops frequent there. While making a phone call outside of Laura's, I met a nice man named PLP. PLP? What's that mean? PEG-LEG Paul. No joke. He said it, then lifted up his pant leg to show me the metal jointed contraption with a shoe on it. Then he jumped into the air and clicked his heels. I didn't know what to do. Also he had a full beard, long hair and a grizzly demeanor. He was harmless though. We also started having problems with Sweatervest guy at this point. He was with us most of the day, but his level of intoxication became unbearable at Laura's. His outfit - a sweater vest with no shirt underneath. Why? Because he had his arm branded. OMG. So gross. I think it was supposed to be an "M" but it looked like a night-crawler. Ick. I got the story from his friends while at Laura’s - I guess he's a farm guy and works with livestock. He brands his cows. One day he and his drunk friends thought it would be a good idea to brand themselves. With hangers. Seriously. Wow.

The Yacht Club was next. I skipped this one again. It's basically Dusty's with a pool table squished into the back room. Don't be fooled by the name, this bar is no luxury. It's quaint, though, and it's a good stop for the pub crawl. I was anxious to get to Elsie's though, which is across the street.

Elsie's is THE best bar in NE. Ok, that's a bold statement. I'll change it to ONE of the best bars in NE. It's definitely on the very classy end of the spectrum. It's a restaurant, bar, AND a really nice bowling alley. On weekends they have karaoke. I love it. I think it was the first place I sang karaoke in Minneapolis. Elsie's is also a hot spot for the salt-and-pepper regulars. Lots of seniors. LOTS. There isn't a ton to do there at 6pm at night though so I wasn't there long. And I had been walking/drinking since noon so I was ready to bid farewell to NE. Also, we picked up PLP somewhere along the way so he was there too. He was also drunker and a little too touchy. I got a picture with him though! And he told me to never change. Aw.

I had to go back again to NE Sunday morning, though. To get my car. FYI - it's very easy to bus to Elsie's. First take any bus that gets you to Nicollet Mall. The 11C stops at outside of Marshall Field's. It drops you off at 2nd St and 8th Ave which is 1 block away from Marshall St and 8th. It would have been a nice little urban adventure for me, except it was raining out and I was tired and hungry and just wanted my car back so I could get groceries and sleep the rest of the day.

Also, I should add that the Minneapolis Smoking Ban makes these pub crawls SO much nicer! Those little bars are pretty unbearable when they're thick with smoke. Now I can go to 13 bars in one day and come home smelling fresh as a daisy! Er…