I've been surfing tonight. Found an interesting person/book/website. She wrote a book, "Family Bound - One couple's journey through infertility and adoption." It looks interesting if you like that kind of stuff, they're currently adopting their second child from Russia.

I took a look at the Table of Contents. Wow. Clomid treatment, artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization 4 times. THEN adoption. Talk about a lot of heartache. It got me mulling over our situation again, and all the things that people have said. Sometimes I still get angry at people for their well-meaning words - they are trying to be helpful and positive, "and wouldn't say it if they didn't care." But, they don't know my history, nor my diagnosis. It's a strange feeling; it's a private thing, it's a between-Doug-and-I thing, yet sometimes I just want to yell at people "THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GET PREGNANT!" just to shut them up. And even the generalized explanations I've given most people aren't the entire truth.

An interesting comment about adopting I've heard a smattering of times, and each time I do it jerks something in my brain - "it's such a wonderful thing you're doing." I don't know how to take that. Is it wonderful for Roman? For me? For the world? Is it wonderful because I can consider adoption, and you can't? Strange.

I've decided that if I hear "you'll probably get pregnant now that you've adopted" one more time, I'm just going to look at them and say "no, actually I'm not." What is even more frustrating is that I am having monthly cycles {didn't you want to know that? :)} and so people assume things are "normal." If I'm regular, why can't I get pregnant? I actually had a friend ask me that. And I know she was probably just curious and wanted a better explanation for herself. But the most recent statistics in the US is that 2 million couples will have some trouble with infertility while they try to concieve a child. It's more common than you'd think. And sometimes, a doctor or drugs just can't fix it.