Reading today: nothing yet, hoping my new Creating Keepsakes magazine
Music today: nyet.
TV today: Winnie the Pooh video
-----------------------------------
A 1-year-old still believes himself the center of the universe, and doesn't do things out of spite - yet. I don't think. It's still hard, however, to not take things personally when your child clearly does not want to do anything you want. For example, our naptimes. I put him down around the same time every day, we do the same things every day leading up to the nap, and yet every time we sit in the rocking chair, he starts to struggle. I mean, physically struggle. His new trick is to take his forearm and push it into my throat so he can turn away from me.

If I sit down in the chair with him in my arms, he starts to wail immediately. This is the kind without tears, of course. It often progresses to yelling and once in awhile, screaming, if I try to hold him in the same position in my lap and not let him squirm. Often I will endure 5 minutes of this yelling at me before he calms down to nap. If I let him try to find a comfortable position, he just moves from place to place... always moving, scratching me to climb up me, the aforementioned forearm to the throat to turn. He won't sit still.

Today he decided he didn't want on my lap at all, and every time I gave him an inch, he attempted to throw himself headfirst off my lap. So I put my hand on his tummy to keep him from leaning forward. Each time I put my hand there, he would take my hand and toss it to the side. Finally, so as not to kill him, I gave up and plopped him into his crib, did the rest of our routine, and left. And as usual he cried a little, chattered a little to his stuffed animals, and fell instantly asleep. Makes me wonder if I'm even necessary. Which is, I suppose, what I want - a child that can put himself to sleep.

It doesn't help that Doug has a similar routine, but it works perfectly. Pajamas on, give him a bottle, sit in the rocking chair. Roman immediately snuggles into the crook of Doug's arm, rests his head on his chest... they do a little rocking, Doug flips him into another position and then puts him in the crib. Rarely a peep, always right to sleep.

So it is very hard to not take things personally. Am I doing something wrong? No. Is it the time of day? Different person? Less tired during the day than at night? Or does he simply not like to sit in my lap or have me touch him? Obviously that's unreasonable, but you start to wonder on the more emotional days....