All right kids, I know you've been eagerly awaiting the second installment of stupid questions, so thanks for being patient. I was waiting until the season kicked in a little to see if there were any new dumb ass questions out there, so here is what I've heard so far this year.

1.) This first one isn't really a question, but it's something said to me that makes me want to beat a person senseless, so I added it in the mix.

I say, "Hi! How are you today", or a variation of it, and the response I get? "I'm just looking".

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't realize 'just looking' could describe how a person is doing. I understand some stores have sales people that are on commission and are all over you the second you walk throught the door, but we're not like that. I'm standing behind the counter, ringing up a customer. How could I possibly be trying to ram something down your throat? Just plain rude, I tell ya!

2.) "Do you work here?"

You are kidding, right? I'm standing behind the freaking counter, punching numbers in the register. I sure as hell hope I work here! Otherwise, these people are in some serious shit, cause I just opened their register.

We don't wear uniforms, but it's pretty obvious I work here if I'm say, taking out the trash, or perhaps opening a box that UPS just delivered. People can be real morons!

3.) "Do you know the phone number to the competition down the street?"

Long blank stare in the general direction of the dumb ass that just asked me that. "Um, no, actually I don't. Is there anything that I can help you with pertaining to our store? Hmm?"

Going along with this question is the same question asked over the phone, with this added, " Hi. I live out of town and I was wondering if you could give me the number for the competition down the street? Oh, you don't have it? Well, would you mind looking it up for me?"

Look you cheap ass, call 411 or get on the internet. How did you get our number? Because you haven't asked me anything having to do with my store, only about every other god-forsaken store in town. Now get off my phone!

4.) Again, a similiar question is, "Do you know if the competition down the street carries this brand?" Or just as good, "Do you know what time the competition down the street closes?"

Gee, I'm sorry, considering I DON"T SHOP THERE, I wouldn't really know the answers to any of those questions. Now get out of my store!

5.)And this installment's Numero Uno stupid question:

"Do you have any dressing rooms?"

No, we make you stand in the middle of the store and strip down to your undies. We are a clothing and bathing suit store for the love of god. OF COURSE WE HAVE DRESSING ROOMS!

So maybe I'm just a wee bit testy today. I apologize. You just don't know what it's like to deal with hundreds of teenagers a day, just graduated from high school, with nothing better to do than get drunk, have sex, and make my life miserable. Things will get better in about two weeks, when the grown up idiots start to come in. I can't wait!

I think I need to go have a drink or 30 at the Scum Bar!