I'm home sick again today and in my ever-worrying mind, I feel guilty about it. Why, you might ask? Because it's the end of the summer, we're low on help and I'm at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah.

Ok, so I can't tell you the last time I actually had a bon-bon, and I HATE Oprah, but that's beside the point. I feel like I'm being a wuss, staying at home.

Never mind, the hideous sore throat I have, the stuffed up nose, or the fact that I have almost zero energy. But when I'm sitting at the computer I feel like I'm doing something I'm not supposed to. When I'm walking around the house fixing myself something to eat or some hot tea (Matt is in Annapolis at a funeral of a childhood friend's mom), I think to myself, 'If I can walk around the house, surely I can walk around the store. If I can make something to eat, surely I can ring a person up. If I can mess around on the computer, surely I can be working'. I feel guilty for smiling about a long-forgotten song I found on the computer to put on that playlist thing.

And never mind that I'm one of the last people at the store to have gotten sick (4 others have had it and had to miss anywhere from 1 - 4 days with it).

But I'm one of the bosses so I feel guilty. (And the owner was the one to send me home yesterday after I told him how bad my throat hurt. I told him I'd stay, but he said not to worry about it. Easy for him to say ;->).

I've been this way my whole life. I even felt guilty staying home from school, and I was SOO not one of those school loving kids - euw!

I guess I just need someone to say, it's ok to be sick. It's ok to stay home even though you can manage to get out of bed (I did sleep for a while yesterday afternoon and I didn't wake up until 12:30 today). You don't want anyone else to get sick because of you.

I need a new psyche. (Did I even spell that right?)