I found this journal community through my wife. we are betty wives....not that it needs to make sense to anyone else other than us.

I have always felt disdain at the idea of leaving journals on MYSPACE and the like...so here I am.

I thought maybe I would ramble about the day....past days...evening....but now, I'm not so sure.

I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

within the last week...I have broken up with my soulmate...had the flu...lost a best friend...locked myself in a tent...lost another best friend....been disappointed in people more times than I can count...and felt like I let people down.

I distance myself so it doesn't hurt so much....but as soon as I stop moving..thinking..distracting....there is the hurt.

sharp and raw and waiting.

I want...just once...someone to tell me to shut up. that they are going to love me despite the horror that seems to trail me...and that there isn't anything I can do to stop them.

it won't ever happen....but it is a nice dream.

as nice as I can think of, anyway.



xoxox
willow