ADMIN PASSWORD: Remember Me

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hallawayjoe Andyland 2013-07-01 8:27 AM here I am Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0)

So this year, I have flunked out of my PHD program, put my cat to sleep, moved back to Las Vegas... temporarily... and am now in over 100K in debt with no secure job. Also creative-wise... I am in a slump....And I am gaining weight... Lots of negatives it seems.... But I have my health... a sense of spirituality, My senior parents persevere... and I continue on. May be working for the Green Party really soon... May be in a new world come 2 weeks... All I need to do is go with the flow. Last night, I saw one of my former professors on CSPAN. I saw what I could have had.... I could have been a cultural critic... a PhD... an uber intellectual...but I don't think anything of value was being said or could be said.... The world is what it is.... There is nothing of value on this earth intrinsically.... in itself... it is how we all react and coact together that makes the difference. I am not a chess player... I am more of a checkers type. I really dislike war and competition. I would rather play twister or solitaire or nothing at all. I would rather go for a hike... admire the views.... pee in the woods, become part of nature... rather than conquer it. Here I am at 40, accomplished nothing of value in life... and there is nothing to accomplish... nor have I reproduced... nor published anything of note.... I have 3 degrees and 63 meaningless PhD credits... the american dream. If I took it seriously, I would have committed suicide... but since I am able to see the absurdity of it, or at least some of it.... I am able to continue and just go with the flow... even if it be a river of feces.

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