Take off the shoes and age old calluses are rubbed open. That'll teach me to wear leather shoes without socks again. But hey, they looked awesome with my zebra print skirt.

28 days and I'll be back to school. Exactly four weeks.

Dreams so vivid you feel the pinprick of the thumb tack in your finger as you wake. Dreams so vivid you have to remind yourself even while you're in them of what reality real is.
Dreams so vivid, so real, putting in your face what you run from when you least expect it. Dreams so vivid with what you feel, with what is the truth in side of you.

I've never had a completely happy dream but neither have I had a completely sad one. There is always something slightly off about them even if they are good for the most part. This a random fear, a random moment that is definitely off.
Last night part was about this hotel or house, powder blue jumbled mix. It was crazy. Even now remembering flashes of it like the grand lobby with the levels of doors and trying to find our room, 17 (not 16A!), passing the rich suits. Going through a door, down a slide, a random secret bowling, browns and yellows, alley. You try to get out and can't escape, trying so hard until a random side door service opens up and you go down down in to the brown and broom closets.
You end up back in the hotel sitting in the resturant. You see him. The omen. The bio-dad. You laugh as he works as a chef, loser, but then he won't leave you alone after he sees you, follows you outside. You scream at him, remember the anger that controls you only as it ever will in dreams. You never scream in real life, much less from anger. But then you go on the car ride, remember the nerdy days at the same, the things you are thankful for but all the same time over lapping with that one day in the car that you have ever been so close to ever wanting to truly physically harm someone even to this day.
That part of it ends and you're in the suburban on a trip back to school with a black pug dog sitting in the ccup holder as you traverse the yellow fields and open country houses of the dreamscape. You are at Wells, a very scewed one, helping to show people to their room. Terrible stairs, trapping green painted scary stairs that the guys just crawl happily all over. (What is it with the stair problem in Main with my dreams? I'm going to be so confused when I get back to find that they are just nice and stable and happy stairs.) You finally make it to your room and dream-made memories flash through your mind of going to a holiday party in the room with the last residence. It's amazing. It changes. You set down your dogs and think about arrangement as friends stop by like "this is a great room!" and show you around. The pug and your white mop-dog scramble around the place as you think "how am I going to take care of their poop? they are my furry fish". The place has at least six rooms. It's amazing for you, maybe your dream first-appartment in real life that you have never thought of. The friend shows you the kitchen, door in counter that leads to the basement where the guys and girls used to go but it is filled with blackness and spiderwebs and the feelings of clinging death skeletons. Your friend acts like it's a nice place to explore while you think "never". Your friend shows you a door off the kitchen that links to a horseshoe court yard where there are steps, mildly wild plants and a faded navy blue and well loved dusty couch sitting out. You wander around just thinking "where will we put our beds" and "wait 'til Sammy sees this" when you're shown a room you know will work. There are various things in there like three pianos and such that your friends help you to move. You take down the posters set up on the walls with the old school tacks that are almost like sewing pins. You take them to a cup in the kitchen, pricking your finger...and that's when you wake.

My dreamscape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life? I'm starting to hate the library in some ways. It gets a little harder to hold my tongue when Kay goes terrier mode on me or Angie does mother-to-baby-voice to me. I think "three weeks" as a mantra. But the plus side was that for the summer reading program they had a company of traveling actors in to preform "The Emporer's New Clothes" which had adults and kids enjoying it. The actors improved great with the surroundings and had me laughing so hard at one point I nearly fell off my stool and couldn't see. It was great. I think things like that should happen more often in public places. I need to try and see more plays. Maybe one day I'll even get involved in them as I've been told I should before. But I've kind of missed the highschool-junior high stage where everyone gets in to them. It's only recently that I warmed up to them so maybe after college when I don't have to be a theatre major I can join a local community chapter and learn my way through that.

~~~~~~~~~~

Not much going on on my front. Get to go to Ren Fest this weekend. Horses, knights, swords, men in tights. What more could a girl ask for? I'm excited.

Well that's all I have to say for now.
Peace.
~Lo