In Dreams

It's strange.
I know he's gone.
I knew before I heard it as fact.
Maybe all we did was speak in dreams.
Those days felt more like a dream than a reality.
But that is where he dwells, where we said goodbye without words and only images, an embrace.
Maybe it sounded mad when I said I already knew, that I had dreamt it. The actually words were just confirmation.
I wonder if I will find him again, if I whisper to the night if he will hear me somehow.
I wonder why he appeared. What was it that brought dream to reality for a short number of days?
Was the fire alarm just the sound of my alarm clock?

Reality hits me
Even though I already knew.
We said goodbye where we first said hello.
You're not really gone
at least I don't think . . .
But it still hurts or more boggles my mind to think I
only had you for one week in reality.
I suppose if that is all I will ever have
I will value it.

Still. I dreamt of you every to every other day from the day I first saw you under that tree. And then you began fading again and we embraced in that place where we met, in dreams, and I think I knew as I woke that I had to hold on to it and to value it because I can feel within me that I will not see you for a while, not even in dreams.

~~~

Thoughts

I have to wonder about the degradation of this school, of this nation. Is this a station where I want to stay where I want to follow in footsteps and say I was proud?
Where is belief? For is it not belief that makes things be? Who took it? What shattered it? What is left to those who still hold on to it, who are named mad because they hold on to a belief of the past? What is belief? How do you replant the seeds that have scattered? Do you trust they will sew themselves? But how come they are so far apart? How do you bring them together again? How do you respect the past, live the present and carry on to the future?

I wonder.

~Lo