I'm starting to think I am in love with the sound of Adele, like she will be one of those singers I always go back to like John Mayer, like the music I use as a go-to like Howard Shore or Jason Mraz. It is just something that seems to go with the rythems of my mind. Simplistic, semi-bouncy, passionate, acoustic-y, free style in feeling, a tint of rough around the edges, not too much processing, from the soul. Soft and pitter patter with flow. I really enjoy her. She may very well be my artist of the year.
Just flowing in to thoughts as I sit here listening to her song "Best For Last".

I feel the settling of the sicknose upon my face. My parents have both been heaving in coughs, mom sucking on cough drops and dad sounding like his lungs might come out of his mouth. Mom suspects pnemonia which really sucks. My own cold is mild at day 2 and I am also just down right determined to not get deadly-sick again for a while. I don't count colds when I think about when I was last sick. This will pass for me. I hope it does for my dad soon. He's the kind of guy that doesn't understand the concept of rest until he's snoring in his armchair suddenly. Heh. Go figure my mom is the same way.

Mmm. So.
Oh whoa damn I was so much more hyper when I tried writing this earlier. It's my music resonating and the cold settling in my Rudolph red nostrils.

Oh yes.
I didn't end up failing my religion class!!!
I called my mom hyper venalating about this class due to fear of an F.
Last night mom made me look at my grades.
I GOT A C+!!!
It was way better than I thought. I whooped with happiness yesterday. In fact I got happy-hyper. I was like those dogs that wag their whole body because they don't have a tail to wag.
Yeah. It was good. The lowest grade I've had in school yet but it's not the end of the world. I had a 3.5 in the fall, 3.0 spring. My highest and lowest GPAs. It evens out. Not bad considering the emotional and physical stress I was under and that I started doubting why I was even in college. I'm proud of my classes though. This semester they taught me a lot of important things and opened my eyes to a lot of things and in other ways cemented views I already have.
They gave me reasons to be a stronger person to be quite honest. I just realized that. It's important to know about your past so you know what you want to fight for in your present and to be in your future. Women in Europe, Islamic culture, social inequality, industrial society...they all tied together in important ways. Even my self-defense class was part of it, part of empowerment. Reflecting now...yeah it all really mattered.

After a tig tag of texts and a phone call later I am getting Mo to go trail riding with me. He says he'll do it for me, haha. "The horse will go really slow right?" "Um...we trot a bit." "Agh!" Oh the things friends will do for you, haha. I'm glad though. It will be nice to ride and Mo owes me. He was supposed to ride with me back like two years ago. It will be nice, the woods, the horses, the world and a friend. A light hike afterward sounds good. Mo will scowl at me, haha. The last time I saw him I made him climb my hill with me. Heh.

Other news: my uncle is back from Iraq. He's been there a year and we are welcoming him home tomorrow.

Thought: in a small town you see everyone in the grocery store. I saw my friend Rob, my art teacher from high school, a guy from college, an old co-worker. My mom sees nearly everyone at the grocery store. I used to think she knew everyone with the way she was and still does always end up stopping and talking to people.
So not me, heh. I don't do small talk very well at all. Mentally I'm standing there blinking like an owl and thinking "this is kind of awkward, why are we speaking?"

Sometimes I have really mixed feelings about Autism. How would I perceive myself differently had I grown up with all this support group stuff? With these puzzle ribbons that seem to be everywhere now and a group even walking in a parade. I'm in a chat room with an autistic woman, and two mothers of autistic kids. It's strange talking about it. Maybe I feel different because I don't think of it as autism anymore and of the mind towards medicalized bullshit at moments. I hate crutching. I feel weird about talking to people from the community when at times I feel like it just makes me go to in to more of an "autistic" mode, like my autism an act now. Yeah, I have some quirks but they're just things I'll limit myself on or adapt to. It's not a "whole thing" anymore so it isn't autism.
Ack. I'm just me now. That's why it's a spectrum too. I'm glad I had the help I did when I was younger but I'm starting to go with Temple Grandin and think I'm "cured" just so that like...it's not my identity, at least not conscious part, not what I see as "me". It isn't my identity. It's like Ehler Danlos, this name that just got slapped on my body by doctors to better help them, is not my identity. It's just a label for my body weirdness.
Eh. Urgh. Okay I'm stopping before I tail spin.

I've been dabbling through the internet and this blog entry for two hours and then some.
Meh.

I'm happy though.
I have books, life, home, friends and family.
I feel like my bullshit is pretty aside now. I'm where I want to be.
I ready like 2300 pages in 6 days. Go book binges!

I'm going to read and sleep now.
Adios.
Peace.
~Lo