Yesterday was a long and interesting day to say the least.
I woke up wondering how I already gotten to Friday, how I had already gotten a week in to November. The weeks have been flying. I'm finally understanding this aging thing. When you are four years old one year is a fourth of your life and when you are twenty five years is a fourth of it. I understand that whole concept of how if you have forever to live then years are as passing days and days are only seconds.
But would I want that? I want to value the moments, every single one.

Anyway I did my routine of the morning, got up, went to breakfast, ate, had the unfortunate encounter of Colleen...the last person I want to start me day with, went to the library and she was there (singing! AGH!) and my tired morning self was admittedly a bit irritable and territorial even though I don't work in the morning technically.

I went to my academic building to hang out and read a little bit, propped up on the super comfy couches in the lounge. Down the stairs comes Matt, my come-and-go flame. It was actually pretty funny because he goes to the turn the corner but then backtracked to say hello to me "You know, this is the second time we have crossed paths today." (Me mentally noting: Aaaah, I'm not the only one eyeball stalking. He does notice me in the dining hall.) We engaged in chit-chat and I kind of played off my being there. No, I completely did not strategically place myself here so I can catch a glimpse of him, these couches are just really comfortable. Man, honestly expects that kind of confession out of me? I'm the chick that doesn't even tell her best friends about crushes until two years later.
Both of us kind of smiled at each other a little bit and he continued on his way.
Afterwards I was going to the bathroom and could have punched myself though. Instead of playing my "Oh, I'm just here because of the couch" self I should have said "Well since we keep running in to each other we should get to know each other better." It was the perfect line for me to use all along and I only thought of it as I was peeing. Why can't my brain go faster sometimes?!

The day went on and I ended up back in my room that afternoon. The glow on the setting sun through my windows became too much to ignore though. I threw on a sweatshirt, coat, gloves, a jacket, armed myself with my camera and went on a walk to the lake. I wandered along just absorbing the sound of the waves and the wind and the ducks honking to each other as they took a rest from migrating. I walked along a little and then turned up toward the town, just wanting to meander more.
I was walking along the sidewalk and heard a swift, masculine stride coming up behind me. My body naturally shifted to a semi-defensive stance. The body passed me by and I recognized it for the distinctive stride and posture of Matt. I called out to him and asked where he was headed. I caught up to his long shanks and we walked together. Walking is what he does (I already knew that). We got talking though it was mostly me just asking questions and him filling in with lengthy answers. I had no idea he could talk so much....but I shouldn't be surprised when I can be a talking catalyst of sorts. I was a little bit busy just trying to keep pace with him as it was. I walk pretty fast myself but there are some people that can right out trump me and can make even me say "Gawd, that person walks farking fast!" I was also in the mode of absorbing my surroundings before that, meandering rather than having a set destination and time. Matt does not seem to be that type. He was definitely enjoying talking I think, or else he just felt the need to fill the silence that I don't mind falling in to.
I'm still mixed in my opinions on him. At this point I've concluded that romantic aspirations are a bit high. I can see him as a friend but not more. If something develops, great, but it is no longer my aspiration or expectation. I'm glad to have a new friend out of it though.

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Non-Matt Related:

Wedding

I'm going to be a bridesmaid this summer to my friend Diana. We haven't really seen each other since the end of high school so it's an exciting process. She's going in to the Army and once she gets back she's getting hitched. It should be a good time. She invited my old friends Ashley and Ben to be bridemaids/men as well. Ash and I said that Ben has to wear a dress too.
By the way mom, this next info is strictly confidential to JS.

I've been talking to Ashley more lately. Last night on Instant Messenger we talked about the wedding and Ashley wondered if Di would let her invite her companion along. I've known that Ashley had a girlfriend for a year and half or so now. She and her partner have been together two years this fall. What I didn't know is that I am the only one of our high school friends that she told. I feel pretty privileged for that because it shows how much she trusts me and how afraid she was of the information going out. We come from what I consider a relatively conservative town. As far as everyone knew when Ashley left high school she was straight so the news of her having a girlfriend would be surprising.

I have an open mind so my reaction was happiness for her. I'm over joyed that she has been with her partner so long.
Last night Ash asked me if I knew what "trans" was. I laughed. I go to a school where gender and sexuality are of a common greater awareness than elsewhere. I know all about transgender and transsexual things. It's beyond drag queens. Anyhoo, her partner has been transitioning for seven months now from female to male. It is quite the process to go through and I let Ash know that I whole heartedly support her and her partner. I think she was relieved that I understood. Going to Diana's wedding it will be good for her to have a strong ally there as well. I'm really excited to meet her partner because he has done so much for Ashley.

Back to the wedding it's just going to be great to see all my high school friends together again. Most of us will be legal to drink by then so it's going to be pretty funny being tipsy together. We're really goofy sober as it is, haha.
It's kind of crazy though. I mean, a marriage already?! I knew this was coming but it's still mad. I hope it is a happy marriage. They have been together for four years now. Maybe they'll be a couple that makes it for the long haul. :-)

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Roller Ball

Last night my school sponsored a dance at a roller rink. We didn't get a big turn out because it was off campus but it was definitely fun. It's only the second time I've been on skates but I did a lot better than I did the first time. I didn't fall once! I have mad skillz at catching myself. I danced as I swooped around a little bit, getting more comfortable at going at speed. The theme was superheroes so I was Captain Obvious. I wore a sign that said "I am human," and "I am on roller skates." Yeah, totally classy. It was a good time. I kept thinking of the first time I went and Guy was with me and how she fell about thirty times, poor thing. One of my friends was clinging to the wall the whole time. Roller skating was definitely not her thing. It is a great time when you really get the flow. Just swooping around, getting yourself faster, dancing with the music a little bit. It was nice.

On the vans there and back we all told stories. I love my class year so much. We always have a great time together and I think we're pretty bonded and supportive of each other. It was a great night, blisters on the feet included. Skating is a great work out, though with all the hills in New York you can only really do it inside or at a park.

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Fun times, long day. Now it's time for me to get to work and clean my room. I'm giving a massage tonight and am being paid for so I need to make sure it's not a mess hole in here.

Peace.
~Lo