Taking a moment from insanity.

Palin's Anger:

Okay, so I can see why Palin is angry lately. Essentially her and Hilary were made the butt of many jokes. They were cast as people not qualified for their jobs, either one controlled through their husbands, men. Personally I do think it is BS. It just enforces the sexism in politics and says something about how women can be successful in politics as a whole. We've made some great steps yes, but Clinton and Palin and Sotomayor were combed crazily. Palin was viewed as a pretty face with no brain and Clinton was cast as a bitch because she has one. Sotomayor...Oh mah goz, a Latina woman?! What? She must think she's superior because she has a good record. More like qualified. Jeeze...
So I'm with Palin about being angry with her Newsweek cover. It's about her body and her sexy rather than her mind. Where is the plain head shot, serious face and basic suit that they typically have for the males? I'd be pissed too and unashamed of it.

Creativity:

With the self-induced stress that I have been under I find that I have started to knock out some really good creative writing pieces. I started one at lunch today that is derived from an idea and short piece that I wrote in high school called What If You Were Trapped. It essentially expresses my views and desires. It is the experience of a person who has never been outside before and her thoughts as she encounters a real wind for the first time and all the places that is leads her intellectually and simplistically.

Senses:

I have been a lot more aware of my senses lately. Perhaps it is the autism sensativity pervading and controlling as I have been stressed out lately. Sometimes it is good in that it has been a while since I have felt this in tune with my physical and spiritual environment but in other ways it is terribly distracting. In class yesterday I was working with a group and I could not filter out the background sounds of other groups talking. I had to lean right in to just hear at a normal level. I know that no one was talking louder than usual. I just could not filter it out so it sounded crazy loud.

Stress:

And I'm stressed. I fucked myself over with a lot of projects this year and I am going crazy trying to figure out why I can't focus. Part of it may be that I am bored and that the topics I want to research have no material written on them that is availible to me. Another is that my attention is being pulled in a million different directions and I just can't grasp on to one thing.
A more final point is that I'm beginning to wonder why the hell I am here and what I am working toward. Once again education is teaching me (more specifically sociology is teaching me) that my education is pointless. It makes me restless and frustrated. If I'm working toward nothing then why am I here? What is the importance of this besides a piece of paper that means I read a lot of books and wrote a lot of papers? I've asked these questions before and sometimes they surface loudly. I just can't shut them out. It drives me nuts and makes me angry and leaves me in a very conflicted position.
I'm also sick this week. It's not terrible but it's one more thing. I'm just glad that I already had my period so that can't surprise attack me and then kill my vagina.
Then I went to register for classes and the college was all "Ooooh you can't. You owe us $4000." Me "....I'm supposed to be working on a paper not dealing with this bull." I knew it was bad when I suddenly almost teared up in class. I. Do. Not. Cry. Publicly. I mean I stopped it but I've never been that close before. I still managed a good argument because someone brought up how women doing the second shift/nuturing is natural and my sociological side went "Um....what? Oh no, you did not just say that." I try to avoid the intellectual flare ups but I've taken too many soc classes to let that fly easily. Had I wanted to I could have ripped her argument apart entirely but that might have made the room a bit explosive and the professor gave me the eye like "I agree with you and support you but stop there." So I did.
I then made a douche bag of myself in another class. Yay...at least I admit my douchebagnes as opposed to others where something like this happens: "This is a bag of sparkles- EW EW EW EW EW! OH MY GOOOOD! AHHH!" Anyhoo, that point is across.

Now I must go mash my face against books and try to swim in my farking busy as fark week.
Peace.
~Lo