Sometimes you just have shit days.
Yesterday was one of those for me.

It started out well enough: I made my friend Maggie crack up first thing by unexpectedly going "BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!", a reference to Harry Potter Puppet Pals. Maggie really didn't know what to do with herself as she giggle snorted to death.

But the day just goes...meh.
My back randomly decided to give out just before class which pretty much killed me all day and continues to pain me a little me this morning. I have no idea what I did to it, only that I tend to curse under my breath every time I move. It is focused in my lower left side and is the kind of pain that sets my heart rate up and makes my temper flare. I tried ibuprofen and Aleve on it to no avail.

I did get a decent amount of work done at least so this weekend I can progress on my thesis.

By the time dinner came around I was feeling alright. The rest of campus was hum-bumming though, complaining of allergies or a cold that is racing around rampantly.

At dinner...-sigh-...I had the grand misfortune of sitting down across from Colleen- The Colleen, as in one of the few who can set me through the roof on the right day.
Yesterday I caught her on bitching-whining-rant mode.
Basically it was about how she upset that her male crush (which we all thought was former) and "best friend" acquired a girlfriend this weekend, which is one of her friends and didn't even tell anyone and she can't be friends with him anymore because it will just make her upset and she can't stand to see them together and he won't hang with her and how could he not tell her and she still likes him and boohoohoo!
I kept my head but I knew if I didn't move soon I was going to go KAPOW on her. She had about four people around her telling her that she was overreacting by far.
Because 1) Colleen has been bragging all week about potentially have a boyfriend off campus.
2) Phil (the "best friend") would naturally not want to tell Colleen right away because he knows she would, excuse me, flip the fuck out....which she did.
3) People are entitled to keep their relationships on the down low at first.
4) If Colleen and Phil are "best friends" then she should really be happy for him.
5) Naturally you want to spend time with your significant other. It is kind of the point. But if you were both friends first and hang out in the same friend circle there is usually a strong chance that you are not a douche bag and won't be all over each other in front of your friends.
-Again, we had four people trying to knock some sense into her. I got up and moved down the table at a certain point because I knew I was going to see my head rolling if the dramatized pity party continued.

After dinner I headed up to self-defense class. My back was still in sharp pain but sometimes moving can help.

Bad. Decision.

I go, I warm up, I wince at my back and tuck my glasses in my hat as we do rolls and falls.
They want to do cartwheels.
Cartwheels.
Fucking cartwheels.
How the fuck is a cartwheel ever going to save my life? What, I want to kick someone while upside down? No. I am not doing that shit.
Thankfully we didn't do them.

What we did do were some of the dumbest techniques Kevin has ever taught in that class, among the most ineffective I have ever known in fact if were in the mindset of genuinely defending myself.
It went something like this:
Attacker does a right straight punch
Defender inside-outside blocks the punch on the right, then braces A's right elbow with D's left hand while taking a small step with the left foot.
D pivots on the left foot and strikes the back of A's neck, then D turns AGAIN, bracing their left leg to A's left leg and wrapping their left arm around and sweeping to the floor.

...That is WAY too much stuff to teach beginners. That is way too complicated for me to ever remember in a fight. I do not do footwork. I block, defend, hold and take down. I was revolted by such complexity being applied to a beginner class and one called "self-defense" at that. This is me and my ever waging battle against the title.

The other technique was this:
A does a right straight punch
D does a left inside-outside block and then attacks A's right arm with a swinging offensive right block.
D ends up turning into A's body, placing the left foot in front of A's right and left elbow striking.
D swings left arm up and over and pushes or pulls A forward, causing zhi to front fall or front roll.

This technique was not so offensive in and of itself but blocking and then blocking the same arm again just felt all kinds of retarded in action.
I am a believer in efficiency and that technique was not efficient. I like to keep it basic and keep it nasty. Complicated footwork? No thanks. Spinning? Not really. Letting them go for one second? Nuh uh.

But what really made the experience bad was Johanna. The woman shrieks and speaks like no one I ever known. It sends from zero to sixty in one or two seconds flat. She does shrieks at least once during ever class.
Yesterday Johanna was endlessly shrieking and hyper... I was frustrated enough at the stupid techniques we were learning but Johanna flooding my brain with her hemorrhage inducing voice...Ugh. I had just enough control to not yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and dominate her until she learned to fucking behave herself and be respectful. Seriously though, it shouldn't be my job. I come off as a bitch enough in that class.
What really erks me is I feel as if Kevin and Jake let her get away with it because she's amazing at the class and techniques. It makes me that much more pissed at them.

By the end of the class my brain was screaming from sensory overload and I ducked out of class a few minutes early. I was extremely close to losing it and had I not left I think I would have BOOMED. I am used to be frustrated by the methodology of Kevin and Jake's style- but having someone be gratingly annoying pitches me to a whole different level.

It took me a while to calm down afterward. I kept cool enough to join my friend Nicole to watch America's Next Top Model but really a fierce part of me just wanted to go out and run, to rage through my legs.
I was still edgy hours later. To my surprise and amazed relief Matt got online and he let me vent and then made me smile and laugh. I was grateful. I continue to dream about him and have warm squishy feelings. Yes, I am pathetic, thank you.
Toward the end of the conversation I was doing two other things at once: reviewing a love letter for my Pete, who is desperately trying to get back together with his ex, and set up the Facebook event for Erotic Ball. Both semi-headache inducing but whatever.
Oh yeah and then I got up to go to the bathroom and some dumbass had written "I <3 cock" on my whiteboard. I mean big deal, it's truthful. I'd be more offended if I was gay but damn, that was fuggin' annoying and immature regardless.
...I drew a rooster next to it.

As I was coming back from the bathroom and heard a male: "OOOH! AAAH! OOOOOH! AH! AH!" and then his friend "Dude! Shut up! Do you know what you sound like?!"
If ever you are in a dorm building and hear a man making orgasmic sounds late at night he is more than likely playing playing a video game and unfortunately no the kind between someone's legs. True fact.

Alright, I'm out. Time to finish homework before class.
Peace!
~Lo