You know, all this goodbye stuff feels rather strange.

I am done with college, at least academically. I turned in my last paper yesterday. I wasn't particularly proud of it, nor the one I turned in the day before, but it's done.

-Oh my goodness. Can I please just have a moment of complete laughter? My American history professor gave me an A- AGAIN despite the fact that I turned in a B- minus paper worth 20% of my grade. This is hilarious. He just can't give me a real B. He likes me too much. Oh, that is so funny for me. Maybe my killer participation and strong opinions saved me, because I totally checked out on that paper.
I am so incredibly amused right now. I'm doing better this semester than I thought.

Since I'm on the subject of grades, my Art History professor gave me an A+. This was highly amusing to me as well when I saw it earlier today. I know I did well in the class but I did not do that well. His final was hard (I'm pretty sure I missed every date that was asked) and I didn't think I was particularly brilliant with the paper since the first grade he gave me on it was a B-. Again, I have another case of the professor liking me and therefore giving me a higher grade than I actually earned. Mind you, I enjoyed that class and the professor; I had a great field trip with him and another student earlier in the month that up-ed his coolness by about 500 points.
But...come on...

Not that this whole higher-grade-because-I'm-liked thing is foreign to me. When I think about it it's happened a few times now.
Sometimes I absolutely loathe it. MAKE ME WORK FOR IT BITCHES! I WANT TO SWEAT, BLEED AND CRY!
Not really though. I've enjoyed keeping my sanity. :-) But I do appreciate a challenge.

Actually, the professor who did challenge me was my theatre professor. Acting was harder than I thought it would be. I stayed strong in the class with my writing skills and willingness to try but...I'm not an actor. My last performance went alright but I don't think I'll try the stage itself again for a while. But I feel like I earned my grade there.

The only thing I am waiting on is my Soc grade, but that should be pretty solid too. It was a very engaging class that I learned a lot from. Sociology has a wonderful way of changing my perceptions and really thinking about the world in ways I hadn't before.

~~~~~~

...Experiences...

This goodbye business feels quite unreal. It hasn't really hit me yet. I see people packing up and leaving and I say my farewells without the honest realization that I might not see them again ever. I hope I do but you never know where roads will go.
For the most part I have simply refused to be emotional. I have been ready for this experience to end after all, to get into the world and begin living "life." But I will miss the people.

The times I almost lost it was seeing my American history professor walk out of his classroom for the last time. I have taken five courses with this man and he really re-inspired my interest in history. He allowed me to go deeper and remember why I chose my major: because I love it. History is not concrete and it can be interpreted many different ways. It isn't just the past- it is part of the now.
I'll miss him. We had a respectful distance from one another, a balanced professionalism that I liked about us. -Not. Getting. Emotional.-

I almost lost it today when I had to say goodbye to Elsie, the Best Librarian on the Planet who I have worked with for four years. She is always smiling, always interested to know you are well. She is a sweetheart and has been here on the nearer side of fifty years. She won't be here for graduation since she is flying off to see her son's movie premiere in LA, so we were both JUST holding it together when she left work this afternoon.

It's such a weird time. It feels like a dream.

All the same I am having happy moments.
Last Thursday I got to see Matt after four months apart. We had a really nice time together for the four days he was here. I was really happy to be able to cuddle with him, to hug, to be walk with him, to be just utter goof balls. He was as equally huggy as I was. It was so good to be able to lay next each other without hurry or interruption.
At the same time I made Matt socialize. We hung out with some friends at their lake house, went to a good concert, and watched me get very drunk very quickly. (Drink racing=a bad habit of mine but thankfully I became a hysterically happy drunk...except when I found out the handicapped door was locked "That's fucking bullshit. God damn college! They're already handicapped inaccessible as it is...Fucking shit!" and I was just quietly herded away).

Monday morning rolled around and my alarm went off at 6:15am to get Matt on the road. He just kind of rolled over and held onto me like "Nooo!" and continued to sleep and cuddle for another 45 minutes. It was so insanely adorable.

I really really love that man. Being in his presence completely relaxed me for the first time all semester. I felt really content and was then very focused after he left.
And then I get to see him AGAIN next week! I'm not sure how long but at this point I am quite happy with the four days I was able to see him.
-Not. Getting. Emotional.-

~~~~~

So yeah, now I just have Senior Week between me and graduation. It should be a nice time but Monday I am opting out of the events in order to continue working in the archives. This past week I haven't really done much with my collection since I've been occupied with papers. I plan on making up some hours next week and at least get the collection mostly ready to be finished. I doubt it will happen before I leave since it is about 7 seven boxes and 140+ folders big. That's a lot of labels and a good amount of sub series.

One week...in about one week I will have my degree...AND LOANS TO PAY!!! Bwhahaha!
Yup, job hunting time.

Anyhoo, I think I'm going to go do some pleasure reading now.

Peace.
~Lo
The Almost-Graduate