Post graduation...not exactly the happiest time in my life.

Being the cynic that I am I am starting by applying for basic shitty minimum wage jobs. I need to start somewhere because everything else requires well...experience I don't have. I am surprised at the length of the applications for grocery stores and Wal-Mart even. They are FULL of loaded questions and take up an hour to two hours of your life.
The internet is full of job search websites but they are not the most reliable things in the world. I think I'm going to have to get creative in my hunt for work and think about who I know.

I'm trying to stay positive but four days out from graduation and it feels more like a death sentence more than it does a better opportunity. I was just let go from my community of four years and have monthly payments looming ahead in six months. I don't feel positive about my degree at all right now. That's the truth.

It will work out...I hope...I feel like I should have worked last summer but it would have only been for two months as is since I headed to Vermont in August.

I think wherever I end up I won't get stuck at the bottom. I have an ambitious personality that refuses to let things stay as is. I am a perfectionist and I like to be in power.

My goals for work are general at the moment:
-work preferably for a non-for-profit
-be able to use public transportation to get there,
-work at least part time or full time
-live off minimum wage or better

Ugh. I need to need to need to keep my head up but I already feel lost.

Matt left yesterday (sooner than anticipated) for an interview in his hometown which ended up in an offer of part time work but not much more. He'll be back up for an interview in Buffalo but if that doesn't take and the part-time does he'll be back in Richmond. This stresses me out to a certain extent because it means yet again we are likely to be on another couple months stretch apart. The time apart is now becoming greater than the time we've spent together. It's on both of our minds. It sucks. I need to just let it be but it's hard.

-couple hours later-
I need to get to a library.
No seriously.
I need to study history, to use my knowledge and innovate and think. I need to think about non-Western forms and compare processes...the answers to the future can be found in the past. There HAS to be a way. It's not like the lessons can't be translated.
I'm damn good at seeing a big picture, including connecting things to the present as well. I just need to dig. I need to invent some way to market myself as a historian or use history to create something new (or old) and have inspiration.
WHERE ARE MY BOOKS?!?!!!
I can do this. I WILL do this. I will not get stuck. I have a brain that buzzes like crazy. I'm a fucking graduate of Wells College and I will question the fuck out of everything until I HAVE MY ANSWER!!!! BWHAHAHA!!! No, seriously, job world you have no idea what you're dealing with. I am fierce.
...Not being within walking distance of a library is going to kill me. I am having withdrawls right now.
I have a feeling I will be going off to SUNY Cortland's this summer.

Fuck, I can use my college degree. WHAT IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT?! HERE IS MY EVIDENCE! IN THE SOCIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE!!! IN THE HISTORICAL BACKING!!! FROM CHINA! IN FORKING 200 BCE BITCHES!!!

I SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD TORTILLA CHIPS AND PEPSI FOR DINNER!
Still, this is amusing.

Alright. So I have graduated and I have a lot to think about and I am free from academia yet not because my brain is forever tainted for better or worse. And I've said goodbye to a lot of people without ever saying the words. And I've had a cold for the past three days but my immune system is trying to give it an ass whooping. And I miss people.
And I am going to stop now before I completely recess to sounding like I am 14 again (dude that was like...eight years ago...Okay "old people" I heard that thought and I know it was longer for you but yeah...oh hell, there goes maturity...PENIS! TEEHEE).

I will try to make a more coherent blog in the next few days. But if you wanted that there are only 8 bajillion of them out there.
Peace.
~Lo