Happy Birthday. Tomorrow, April 25th, The Empire State Building is 75. Today, my sister is 19.

Little has changed since 1931. Then and now it was dramas about bad guys and prisons and the play "The Last Mile" starred a stud named Spencer Tracy. Then David Belasco was producing his final production. Today he's a West 44th theater. This weekend was HBO's Helen Mirren/Jeremy Irons miniseries, "Elizabeth I." Three-quarters of a century ago Lunt and Fontanne - who also now have a theater named for them - were in Maxwell Anderson's "Elizabeth the Queen." And there was a "The Color Purple"-type show.

It was Congressman Fiorello La Guardia complaining Edward G. Robinson's "Little Caesar" film character makes it look bad for Italians. Helloooooo? Make the name "The Sopranos" and what's the difference?

Ads trumpeted Maybelline, whose mascara everyone including professional makeup artists still uses; Listerine, which is still on supermarket shelves; Dr. Scholl's corn plasters, which thanks to today's shoes, the entire world still needs; Dentyne, which we're still chewing. Kleenex. Anybody know anybody who doesn't use Kleenex? And Claudette Colbert was hustling Max Factor's makeup, which is still around even if Claudette isn't.

But forget the Rockland County pet specialist guaranteeing you can raise rabbits and chinchillas in your apartment. I don't see that passing my co-op board.

Screenplay magazine had "inside scoop" by Joan Crawford's personal maid and "The true story of Greta Garbo's private life." The names are changed, but same crapola we have today, right?

The year ground broke for the Empire State Building, talking pictures broke ground. Howard Hughes, who just had his own life story filmed thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio, began filming "The Jazz Singer." Showbiz big names were Miriam Hopkins, Katharine Cornell, Melvyn Douglas, the Gish sisters, Maurice Chevalier, Tony Perkins' father Osgood Perkins, Eleanor Powell, Duke Ellington, Sir Harry Lauder, Katina Paxinou, who was that generation's Melina Mercouri, Ernest Truex, Frank Morgan, Mary Boland, Henry Hull, Sam Jaffe, Sydney Greenstreet, Helen Menken, Jane Cowl, supported by some kid named Katharine Hepburn, whose memorial is next month.

Academy Awards were in the ballroom of L.A.'s Coconut Grove Hotel. Best Actress, Mary Pickford. And everyone bitched. Stabs like: "How could it go to her in a movie nobody liked." The more things change the more things don't change.

Broadway was a mosh pit of what insomniacs watch on oldie flicks. A young gorgeous Cary Grant taking his first stage steps. Glenda Farrell in "Love, Honor and Betray," which also featured newcomers Clark Gable and George Brent. Guy Kibbee in "Torch Song." Brian Donlevy in "Up Pops the Devil." Clifton Webb, Libby Holman, Fred Allen in "Three's a Crowd." "Penny Arcade" dredged up newies James Cagney and Joan Blondell. Franchot Tone, who was married for an hour to Joan Crawford, was in "On the Spot." Ethel Barrymore, who also has a theater in her name, decorated "Scarlet Sister Mary."

Broadway musicals headlined Ethel Merman, Ginger Rogers, Willie Howard in "Girl Crazy" and "The New Yorkers" with Jimmy Durante and Ann Pennington. How's "Flying High" with Bert Lahr and, long before her "God Bless America," Kate Smith. The Oriental beauty Anna Mae Wong was in something, and Helen Hayes, also with her own theater now, in "Mister Gilhooley."

The main difference is the price. Then Listerine was a quarter. True Story Magazine with Barbara Stanwyck on the cover pushed True Confessions magazine at 10 cents a copy. A "Learn to Dance" ad said it'll only cost 50 cents. Underwood typewriters for $39 or $1 a week. Photo enlargements for as many photos as you like - the whole lot 49 cents. An introductory offer to try "a big powerful radio - 30 days free." Oh Henry! candy bar, a nickel. Colgate, 2-ounce tube, 27 cents. And a big ad saying "Be a radio expert: Many men I trained to do this in their spare time now make $30 a week."

And just three years later the world's biggest cinema, Radio City Music Hall, opened for business trumpeting "The Bitter Tea of General Yen" with Barbara Stanwyck.

AND maybe 75 years from now someone will reincarnate "The History Boys," which opened Sunday at the Broadhurst.