List of good deeds I should do:

1. Kill unwanted puppy. Preferably female. Dogs take up resources humans should be using instead. The resources that went into that Dog Chow could have saved lives in Somalia or been used to research a new fuel source. We all need to contribute to make certain the pet population is lowered. Killing a female makes more sense because females limit population more than males. Killing should be quick, painless, and cheap. I could probably snap a puppy's neck without much effort. We pay people at the SPCA to do this for us, but if everyone helped out by doing it themselves we save even more resources.

2. Kill one individual - retarded or otherwise disabled. Similar reasons as for puppy killing. There are perfectly normal people who are dying of starvation in Somalia who could contribute something to society they had the resources being used by the disabled person. They wouldn't be in a state of suffering on regular basis either. Instead of using it to prevent a person from starving, it could also be used for research purposes which potentially could save many more lives than direct use of the resources.

3. Convince boss to fire the least productive person in the office, even though I like that person. My personal friendship should not stand in the way of our organization's need to operate efficiently. Firing this person would make others realize that their jobs are not a right they are given and that they should work their hardest.

4. Take candy from baby. Candy is bad for the teeth, and, even though babies do not have teeth, by taking candy away it might be possible to prevent a child from developing taste for it.

5. Encourage young people to take up smoking. Emphysema usually does not strike people until they are in their declining years. The elderly are an enormous drain on the resources of our nation, and so lung cancer actually saves our country money by cutting back on social security payments. Individuals who smoke should be treated as heros for sacrificing their lives for the good of our nation.