Here it is, basically 10 days before I'm supposed to turn in my D.Min papers and they are not done. Not surprising, since no paper or sermon I've ever done has been completed before the due date (and some even after the due date!), but there is a difference this time. I am in a quandry about whether or not to complete them at all.

I assumed, when I said I'd apply, that my parents would be able to watch A. for the five days W. is out of town (the class is two-weeks where you live in residence). My folks could either come here and A. could go to school and Mom and Dad could play golf every day, or I could take A. with me and hang out with him at night. (Not my first choice, but it could work.)

But now that Dad's recovery has no certain end-date, (pulmonary embelisms, prostate and heart issues) I'm not sure I can with certainty say that they can take care of A. And W.'s parents have yet to quit smoking, and W.'s sister will have a little one of her own that W.'s mom will be helping to take care of, so I'm not sure I'd want to count on them.

So, I'm feeling pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. Oh, and I got asked to teach a class at the university in the fall. Comparative Religions.

I talked to my mom last night, and she said that they can't make any promises right now but if it is something I need to do they would work it out. I talked to W. and he said that maybe January would be a better time.

I walked the labyrinth, and the words "contained" and "held" came up. Thanks, God, that is clear.

I know I could only do one or the other - teach the class or do the D.Min. W. is off for the two weeks in January, so childcare wouldn't be a problem. My fear is if I don't apply now, I won't ever apply and do it. And, strangely enough, both ideas for the class and ideas for the paper still keep swirling in my head when I'm not able to sleep.

I know that for one I'm going to need to say no for a greater yes, but I'm not sure what the greater yes is. Or, if I say no to both for the greater yes to be my family and my current job?

So many questions!