Today has been a marvelous combination of friendship, revelation and answered prayers. I spent the afternoon with a friend and was again reminded of how very blessed I am in life to have found people who not only care about me but know that I cherish their honesty and wisdom. There are some people who understand me - as much as that is possible - and there are those whose opinion of me is twisted by their own demented, selfish, warped sense of reality. While I will name no-one in particular, suffice it to say that the person I am alluding to has always been my greatest source of joy as well as pain, pride and shame and before now, the crowning achievement of my life.

Well last night, this person proceeded to explain in detail how my contribution to their life has been a dismal attempt at providing stability, moral guidance and many other hateful, hurtful issues. The hurt, sorrow and pain I felt is beyond my descriptive prowess. It unhinged me. It angered me. It was such a hateful diatribe that I could only imagine spouting off like this to someone like Hitler, Dahmer or maybe Bin Laden! Certainly not to someone such as myself! I was blindsided, confused and beyond intelligible response!

Now for many years in my life, such an event would have prompted near suicidal response! But along with the pain, came a shocking sense of reality. I know that I have been as responsible as I am capable of, and that no matter what anyone else thinks, I am basically okay with me! Yes there were times when I failed. There were times I was totally wrong in decisions I made. BUT I cannot change those events - AND I have learned from them. So now I am content with who I am and if it means I live the remainder of my life without this person's presence, I will survive. Not only do I plan to survive, but to thrive! I think I have finally matured and become an adult. About time considering I am 57 years old. But darn it, I don't deserve to have a guilt trip weighing me down and I refuse to accept it.

So that takes care of the revelation and friendship parts of the day. Now for the answered prayers.

I have been wracking my brain trying to think of a way to earn some extra money to get back on track and pointed in the right direction. Well, I was approached by two different people today interested in having me teach some classes. Now I must state that I have taught a couple of classes before and felt they were absolute failures on my part. I am not comfortable teaching. But who am I to deny God's plans and this must surely be His answer. Wish me well dear friends in this endeavor. Not only for my sake, but for the sake of the people to whom I will try to impart my feeble knowledge.

So there you have it. To me, it was a sure sign of personal growth to react so differently to circumstances than I would have done previously.

Also the quality and quantity of true friends in my life is so much more than I think I deserve; I am thankful the Lord has a different opinion of me!

Another day, another rant!