because it's going to change drastically tomorrow.

David and I do the bathtime routine. I manage to get him into his jammies and his sleep sack with a minimum of fuss. I turn the overhead light off, the little light on and try to read him a board book in the rocking chair. He slams the book shut. I sing twinkle twinkle which makes him smile, and then he nurses to sleep on my lap. Lovely.

Except, I get up to put him in the bed. He wakes up, nurses on the other side and is not going back down. We hang out and do Rose's bedtime routine. I get annoyed when he grins because it's not grinning time. I get annoyed when he squawks because he had his chance, gosh dang it. I finish singing to Rose, strap David into the carrier and walk around the block.

The Argentinian restaurant has lit their candles. I read the headlines through the newspaper box. I plan on buying the paper, but then forget. On the way down the hill, I can hear a woman from the Sierra club making her pitch. Beverly has just finished her last violin lesson. She waves as she gets in her car. Olivia's family pull up and they all coo at David. "Yes," the say, "his eyes are still open." People are walking their dogs. People are putting their garbage cans away. The sky is clear and I can see stars. David moans a little bit. His fingers twitch. Second time around the block I smell rosemary. Last time around his body feels heavy and limp. I know we've made it.

John puts David in the crib that abuts our bed. We eat popcorn and we watch t.v. I write and start to get ready for bed. David pops up. I nurse him down.

I have slept under an hour. David pops up. I try to nurse him down, but a half hour later he wakes up fully. After much internal debate and some mumbling at John, I take the baby downstairs, let him play with blocks and his plastic train while I try to sleep on the floor. He would much prefer I keep my eyes open.

I give him half an hour and try to nurse him back down. It almost works and then his stuffy nose fights back. I actually have to get in the car at 1:00 a.m. and drive him to sleep.

He pops up every two hours until morning.

We seem to have three patterns:

1. He goes down smoothly and stays down. He wakes only twice in the night and his first stint is at least five hours. I barely notice I'm awake to nurse him.

2. He wakes every two hours.

3. He wakes up because he's wet through or too cold or he has a stuffy nose and then he is up for two hours in the middle of the night.